Was It All Worth It ?
by Twilighternproud
Summary: What happens when Rose is struck by a disease and a whole lot of bad luck. How will Dimitri react? Will she survive and break through? What if Dimitri didn't get to say his goodbyes?
1. Chapter 1

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WARNING : This will 99.99 % end tragically, so heads up x

Chapter 1

Rose Pov :

Taking deep, desperate breaths, my stomach heaved and I expelled its contexts into the basket next to me. Feebly trying to shake the chains around my wrist, I gave up because I simply didn't have the energy to fight. If I get out of this hell hole, I'm suing somebody.

Trying to distract myself from the current situation, I was unwilling reminded of how I ended up chained to the wall like an animal.

First day I was here, everything was done in my typical Rose style. I demanded that they let me go this instance, and that _when, _not if I was let go, they'd pay. I kind of have to take that back now.

I knew that arguing with them would get me nowhere, but I was frustrated, hating being locked up.

Apparently, I wasn't the only one.

A week later, I wasn't scared any more, just merely annoyed. There was nothing to do in this cell, and I refused to let anybody visit me. The first day Adrian reached me in my dreams, I told him as politely as possible that I won't have him visiting any more, but I think he got hurt.

I warned the guards against letting Lissa, Dimitri, Christian or anyone else I met at some point in life, inside.

I was sucked into Lissa's head that day, and the amount of darkness I saw lurking in her mind frightened me. It was the darkest I had ever felt either of us. She was furious, absolutely raging.

"Why won't she let me in?" she yelled at Christian, "I know she didn't do it! She'd never do something like that! I'm her best friend. She should let me in! And that stupid guard that won't ever look into my eyes! We were so close, so close to catching whoever it was that framed her!" she continued on ranting. "I have to see her!"

Christian raised his palms up slowly, as if in surrender. "Liss, honey. Calm down, okay? Just take deep breaths. We all know she didn't do it." he tried to comfort her.

"Don't touch me!" she recoiled, hissing. I could see her image reflected in the mirror from her room.

Her hair was untamed, not in her usual princess bun, and her green eyes were blazing black, no hint of her former self anywhere.

"Don't even pretend like you care, Christian! You always hated Rose, you always made fun of her. Don't you dare pretend like you care you fucking glory hunter!"

Never in my life, did I ever hear Lissa utter an obscenity.

"Liss this isn't you. You're just stressed out because of all the magic and Rose's mess has gotten you feeling worse. You need to calm down."

I knew he was right. Even though I'd never admit it, Christian had a point. Inside or outside a cell, _she came first._

I pulled the darkness from her mind. Ironically, she was holding on to it like she'd go crazy without it, but after a little coaxing she let in.

I didn't understand the magnitude of the darkness that had accumulated in her, so the full force of it hit me by surprise.

Suddenly, my eyes saw nothing but red; the shapes were translucent and blurry.

Letting out a full animalistic growl, I threw myself onto my two feet, and strode towards the bars, my legs stomping loudly.

The guard standing by, Matt, I think, barely acknowledged me. He obviously thought I was going through another childish fit. He gave me a small glance, and turned back to the grey wall.

Wrong move. Before he could utter a sound, I grabbed the back of his jacket and abruptly yanking him towards me. I felt the satisfaction of knocking him out before his head made impact with the bars.

I reached out and shoved my hands into his pockets and grabbed the set of silver keys, trying each one in a hurry. Briefly, some part of me wondered why there was only one guard at my cell, but I remembered that there another five stationed at the entrance. Apparently, they heard the bang because two of them appeared at the bottom of the stairs. I shifted into offense mode, and attaked before they could. They would pay for locking me up. All of them would.

The red haze was still as strong as ever.

One of them had both my hands in his grasp, but I kneed him in the balls and he let go, giving a cry of pain. A few more appeared then. I shoved into the wall, and as my cheek got scratched, a soft trace of blood dripped down my face. I didn't give him the satisfaction of winning this fight, and using all my leg muscles, I jumped up, ran my legs along the wall, and flipped, landing behind him.

I now had him in a chokehold, and he was the one who ended up unconsious.

Even though I had taken some of them down, I had overestimated my strength.

I was panting by the time two guardians had me locked in a vice grip, one I couldn't escape.

"I didn't do it!" I cried out. "I swear to god, I didn't do it! I was framed, I wouldn't do that to her!"

Once again, I ended up pinned across the wall, with one guardian's heavy body lined up against mine, preventing me from struggling too much, but I tried nevertheless.

"Shhh." he soothed me, like I was a worked up animal which had escaped it's cage. "It's okay."

I let out a strangled scream, which was the sign that I had finally lost it, though I doubt they thought I had it in the first place.

I noticed a guardian with a gun shaped object in their hand. Shoving against the immobile guardians, I let out a whimper of fright. I felt a pinprick against my skin, before I suddenly sagged and my eyes slowly closed.

yo, tell me what you think (:


	2. Chapter 2

**People Please, I'm the Author. I think I know whether people are reading this story or not. Judging by the amount of favorites and story alerts I got, a lot of you are. **

**Why aren't you reviewing ? **

**Mhm, no excuse :P **

**I'mma let it pass this timee. **

**oh and btw, I didn't do the disclaimer thing cz it's kind of obvious none of these Ideas are ours. I mean, why are we typing it up on FAN FICTION if they're our real Ideas? Yeah, I thought so. (: **

**Just to make you feel better, I'll do it this once and apply it to all forthcoming chapters. **

**This story does not belong to me, it belongs to Richelle Mead - God bless her - and I just enjoy playing with her characters. **

**Kay so conclusion is, review :D **

Chapter 2

Rose:

God, remind me again what I did to deserve this ?

I coughed again, feeling like my throat was being scraped against something sharp. I just wanted some peace and rest. I'd gladly stay in this cell, so long as I got better.

I sneezed continuously, and took a deep breath. A frustrated tear left my eye.

How did I get so sick so fast? Was it some Jail infected disease? Or something I had picked up from somewhere else, or something else altogether?

Whatever it was, it was killing me.

I had checked into Lissa's mind earlier, only to kick myself out the very second. She had apologized to Christian earlier and these were the after effects. Let's just say I'm scarred for life.

My stomach heaved, turning inside, and I made a strangled sound, before vomiting into the basket next to me. I would've loved to wash and clean up; having to smell like puke and digested food didn't really feel nice. They wouldn't let me go anywhere though. Attacking the whole team of guards hasn't done anything to clear my case, probably even worsening it. But I knew some of them felt sorry for me, and dare I say, believed my innocence.

I couldn't concentrate on anything for more than five seconds, courtesy to the pounding head I had, and I was slowly starting to believe death was better than this.

Staring off into space, I was brought back by two communicating voices. I wasn't able to make out any of them though, my senses were too affected by my illness.

My body shook violently, and I heaved again, emptying what I never knew was there in the first place, into the basket. A small moan of pain escaped me.

I heard footsteps walking towards me, and thinking it was one of the cell cleaners coming to change the basket – god bless them – I closed my eyes, and leaned my head against the wall.

"Rose?" my eyes snapped open, and I focused on the figure in front of me.

Please god, please don't let it be him.

"Rose, are you all right?" His voice was soft, and I could detect a hint of worry in it.

"What do you want?" I snapped, my usual bravado resurfaced, in a vain attempt to protect myself from the emotions resurfacing at his sight.

"Let me help you."

"Help yourself first, then come to others." I hissed. It was a low blow, and I knew it. The almost flinch he gave didn't make me feel better about it though, and before I could comprehend anything else, my head was back in the basket, puking my guts out.

He held my hair though, the entire time, and that little move right there, almost made me cry.

Didn't he have enough of this torture? What more did he want from me? I gave him everything I had and he through it right back, what's he looking for ?

After I had finished, I tried taking deep breaths to calm my body down, and made a motion to wipe my forehead, only for my hands to be propelled back again by the chains.

He reached out to feel my foreheads tempereature, but I pulled my head back.

"Don't touch me." I growled.

"Don't start here Rose, it's not the time or the place." He said in a low, strained voice.

If I had the energy right now, I would've beaten the crap out of him. But I didn't so I didn't.

"Please Dimitri," I whispered, feeling defeated. "Leave me alone," A frustrated tear trailed down my cheek.

He reached out and touched my forehead with his warm, large hand.

"You're so hot."

"Your hand feels so good." I gave a low moan of satisfaction, much to my chagrin.

We both stared at each other for a split second, before I burst out laughing. I saw his lip twitch, as if urging him to form a smile, but we both grew sober when I was coughing a lung out again.

He stood up on both legs, and before I had time to ask, told me he'd be right back.

Taking in deep breaths, I started to ponder Dimitri's presence in my cell. Did Lissa force him to see me ? Did he come out of guilt? Neither one helped our current situation. He was still as beautiful as ever and I hated myself for not being able to get over him.

He came back shortly after, with a small bowl filled with water in one hand and a piece of white cloth in the other. He sat cross-legged next to me, placing the bowl in his lap, and dipped the white cloth in it.

"You don't have to do this," I said slowly, not wanting him to feel as if he was forced.

"I want to" I replied gently, and twisted the cloth in the bowl, before spreading it on my forehead.

I sighed in relaxation as he kept it on my face for a while and dipped it back, repeating the steps.

I could almost feel my temperature drop every second, and I would've kissed him or anyone else in his place at that moment.

He used this treatment for a while, but I started to get sleepy and asked him to stop.

I tried to be in an comfortable angle so my neck wouldn't be stiff, but every one was more painful than the last. I knew I should be used to it by now, but it didn't stop me from trying to come up with alternatives.

Dimitri, without hesitation, gather me into his arms, and held me close. I rested my head on the crook in his shoulder, giving a sneeze, and snuggling in. I inhaled the soothing smell of his aftershave. He buried his face in my hair and murmured comforting words in the native tongue of his that I never understood.

Soon though, I fell into the bliss state called sleep.

**Kay, you know the drill (: Revieww x **

**Sorry I'm updating slow btw, **

**exams and stuff**

**and to all the Muslims out there, Eid Mubarak**

**Rest of youu (: Peace outt **


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry for the late update, finals coming up. **

**But I made it longer to make up xx **

Chapter 3

I woke up the next day feeling worse, if that was possible. I rubbed my eyes slowly and blinked, trying to make sense of the objects in front of me. Before I could comprehend though, I heaved into the basket, vomiting again. Wonderful way to start the day.

I didn't notice Dimitri holding my hair, but when I did, the expression on his face froze me.

His eyes were the saddest I had ever seen them, looking down at me as if I were to disappear any second. My eyebrows furrowed, and he gave me a small, un-reassuring smile.

"What's wrong?" I asked, I thought we were on good terms yesterday.

He stroked my hair softly, twisting one of the strands on his forefinger. I was sitting between his legs now, with my back resting against his chest and his back leaning on the wall. I was surprised they had let him stay that long.

"How are you feeling?" He ignored my question, asking me one of his own.

I could see that something was bothering him, so I didn't want to add any more stress.

I didn't tell him I felt ten times worse, as if I was dying. I didn't tell him I could barely move a muscle without having to contain my cries of pain. I didn't tell him any of those things.

"I feel so much better." Liar. As if on cue, I sneezed twice in a row, and sucked in a deep breath.

I still had no idea how I had gotten so sick so fast, but the guardians who believed in my innocence, raised awareness about this matter, and they said they'll see what they can do.

"Thank you for staying with me yesterday," I was surprised at the sincerity in my voice. Even though he didn't love me any more, I wanted to maintain a resemblance of friendship with him, anything I could get.

"Don't worry about it Rose," his voice was gruff, and thick. From what? Emotion, maybe? Towards what, though? I didn't realise anything had happened.

"Rose!" Lissa's familiar voice speared through my thoughts, spiralling me back into reality. I saw her from afar running towards my cell, and she grabbed onto it with both her hands, breathing heavily from the running.

"I'm so happy to see you! How are they treating you? Your trial's starting in an hour, are you ready ? Don't worry about anything Rose, Abe and I have got it all under control. What's wrong with your face though, it's a bit discoloured. Come over here and talk to me."

I smiled at her enthusiasm. I loved her so much, Lissa. My true sister, I don't know what I'd do without her, honestly. She was the only thing keeping me sane, my duty towards her. And I knew I'd protect her even if it wasn't my duty, even if the two of us were humans, I'd still protect her. She meant that much to me.

I unwillingly coughed, and her voice turned alarmed.

"Rose? What's wrong? Are you sick?"

"I'm fine." I tried to sound convincing, but she didn't believe it.

"Well, why don't you come over here and talk to me. I miss you." she urged.

"Yeah, well." I gave a shaky laugh, mixed with a cough. "About that, I can't really see you now."

Dimitri didn't utter a sound through the whole encounter, only rubbing soothing circles on my lower back. I felt his grip tighten each time I coughed, and sometimes a sigh would escape his lips.

"Why not?" She demanded.

Not feeling well enough to argue, I shakily brought my arms on either side of my body, palms flat on the floor.

"Rose" Dimitri said, in a warning tone.

"I'm fine," I growled.

I lifted my body off the floor, and I was barely standing on my own two feet, when I was hit by a wave of dizziness. Reaching out for anything to support myself with, Dimitri was there in an instant, steadying my body and gently putting me back down. I took in a deep breath, and closed my eyes, trying to rest.

"Princess." His voice was strained, and I felt him swallow. "Rose isn't feeling well right now princess. She won't be able to attend the trial today."

"What?" She almost screeched. I squeezed my eyes tighter, trying to block out the noise. My ears started to hurt. I wanted to tell her myself that I wasn't feeling well, that I'd get better and that she'd better get my ass out of jail. I couldn't do those things however, and at this bleak point in life, I wasn't sure if I'd get well at all.

"What did you do to her? What's wrong with her? Rose, talk to me."

Sensing my discomfort, he intervened. "Please, Princess, lower your voice. It's hurting her."

She blinked, and tears started to form in her eyes, "I didn't mean to. What's wrong with her? She needs to be there for her trial. You need to be there! To support her case."

"I'm not leaving her alone like this, she isn't feeling well and she needs to rest. I'm taking care of her."

That peaked up my interest, "Dimitri, you should go. Try and convince everyone that I'm too awesome to be stuck in a place like this," My attempt at joking didn't affect him in any way.

I tried again. "I'll just be here, sleeping. Not like I can go anywhere else."

Lissa said, "Actually, I doubt he has a choice. Abe is expecting him to help with the plans. He must be there. I'll tell them you're too unwell to attend your own trial, I'm sure they'll accept. I love you Rose," She said the last part softly, comfortingly.

"Love you too, Liss," I smiled.

A few minutes later, I had finally convinced Dimitri to go, but before that, he brought me a pillow and fresh water, since food wouldn't help my turned stomach. I reassured him that I'd just be sleeping, but he still seemed wary.

A while later, half an hour before the trial started, he left to get seats, telling me he'd be back as soon as it ended, whether the news was good or bad, and kissed my forehead, leaving a burning sensation.

Soon after they left, exhaustion took over and I fell asleep. I met Adrian in my dreams that day, and I didn't know how to feel. When he saw me though, he saved any conversation and gasped at my condition.

Seriously, can people be any more dramatic?  
"Rose, what happened to you?"

That right here, sobered me up. He _never _called me Rose. Not unless it was extremely serious. I wanted to hear him say 'Little Dhampir' so I could feel comforted. I needed to know someone thought I was normal.

"Adrian, we need to talk." I knew what I had to do. I had to break up with him. It was wrong to let it get that far from the beginning, because it only increased the pain of what I had to do, made it worse in the end. But the sooner the better, he had to get over me quickly, and live his life.

Apparently, he had other plans. Yanking me towards him, he hissed "What happened to you?"

I didn't feel bad in the dream at all, but the way I looked was the same way I slept. That's probably why I look like that.

I raised my hands up in a sign of peace, I didn't want his anger directed towards me. I wouldn't be able to handle it.

"Adrian, relax. I just have a cold. Nothings wrong."

"That doesn't look like a cold to me, Rose." Again with the name calling. It felt weird hearing my name on his lips. It was unusual and I wanted his old mood back.

"Don't call me that." I said.

"Call you what?" he shot back.

"Call me by my name. Call me how you normally call me." I could feel my desperation rising. He stopped being angry, apparently handing that job over to me, and instead turned concerned.

"Rose, what are you saying?" he asked, confused. I snapped.

"That's not what you call me Adrian! That's not what you call me. Don't call me Rose, don't ever call me Rose! You can't tell me that, you can't call me that. Please don't call me that. You never call me that. It's not normal, and right now I need things to be normal." I grabbed both his upper arms and bore my eyes into his. "I need everything to be normal again."

"Little Dhampir, relax. Take deep breaths." The amount of relief that flooded through me at that moment was unbelievable. I was drowning in happiness. That was okay, he was okay. We were all okay. This didn't change, I'm still Little Dhampir. He didn't call me Rose. I exhaled and threw my arms around him, aware he probably thought I was crazy.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me Adrian. I'm sick, I'm really sick."

"Why doesn't Lissa heal you?"

"She doesn't know how sick I am. She already has my trial to deal with. I'm her guardian, she's not mine."

"She's your friend Little Dhampir. She's here to help you. This isn't about our magical stuff, this is about friendship."

"It doesn't matter."

"yes it does," he pressed.

"Adrian, everything's normal. Please, talk to me like everything's normal."

He then reluctantly changed the subject, onto a much more lighter topic. I think this was probably the longest dream we've had together. I suddenly remembered what I needed to do in the first place, and my throat tightened with uneasiness.

"Adrian,"

He sighed and stood up – we were laying down together on the bank of a river, below the trees and the birds – turning to face me. "I know."

"Excuse me?"

"I know what you want to say, Little Dhampir. I understand. I'm just glad I had the opportunity to be with you, that's more than I can ask for."

I titled my head to the side, processing the information.

"Oh, um. Okay then? I'm really sorry Adrian, and I truly do love you. Just not in the way you wanted me to." I felt extremely awkward, and I wanted to leave the dream now.

He gathered me into a hug, and I relaxed into him, hugging him tightly.

"Thank you so much for everything," I kissed his cheek.

"Good night Little Dhampir, he winked."

"Rose! Rose we did it! We did it!" Lissa's excited screaming woke me up abruptly. I barely noticed that my headache was still there when I heard the rattling of my cell door open.

"What?" I spoke slowly, disoriented.

She ran inside the cell and pounced on me, squeezing me to her.

"You're free! We won the trial Rose, you're free to go!"

I wanted to ask for more details, I really did. I wanted to jump up and dance with her, I wanted to shout in happiness that I wasn't going to die any more I wanted to kiss Dimitri's lovable lips, which were quirked up into a content smile, watching Lissa and I. I couldn't do any of those things.

I yawned and everything turned black.

I woke up due to an extremely dry throat, and coughed, trying to relive the pain.

A pale but strong pair of hands grabbed me by my shoulders and gently nudged my head back down, placing something damp on it.

"Relax Rose. You need your rest." Christian? What was he doing here?

I voiced my thoughts, resisting his pressure and sat up slightly. My head was in his lap, and he was using the water-cloth technique Dimitri had before. We were both on the couch in my living room.

We were in my room, I recognized.

"Where are Dimitri and Lissa?"

"They dropped you off here and left me with you, to go and get the nurse. Lissa had to go because with her authority, things could actually get done quicker and Dimitri had to guard her."

Of course, Dimitri was in debt to Lissa for "his whole life". Who was I to interfere?

I drowned my jealousy and turned to face Christian.

"How nice of you to take care of me. Which one of my wonderful clothes am I going to find in ashes today?" I asked sarcastically. Christian and I argued a lot, in and out of my cell. Sometimes, I'd even find an attire of mine which was once red or purple, charcoal black. Sometimes it'd just disappear. Sometimes he made a fireworks show just to piss me off. That was all payback for messing with his ingredients when he cooks.

He completely ignored my comment though, "How are you feeling now Rose? Any better?"

My eyes widened. "Who are you and what have you done with Christian Ozera?" I asked, in a monotone voice.

He gave a small chuckle, and said. "Don't get used to it. I'm not giving you a hard time because it's clear you don't need it."  
I instantly sobered up, and muttered. "Geez, thanks for making me feel better."

"Here, have a glass of water," He reached out to the coffee table and grabbed a glass, slowly handing it to me, as if there was I chance I would drop it.

Apparently, there was. As soon as I sat up properly, an agonizing pain shot through my stomach, making me cry out, and I reached for the plastic bag settled on the table.

A while later I was just dry heaving, nothing else would come out, and tears sprung to my eyes.

Christian did have fast reflexes though, and he was instantly helping me, holding my hair back and reassuring me. Ironic for the Moroi to be taking care of the guardian.

He used the wet cloth to wash my faces and I looked up at him, silently thanking him.

He handed me an painkiller; I think he covered all possible scenarios.

"How are you feeling now?"

I ignored his question, suddenly feeling vulnerable.

"What's wrong with me?" I whispered, not knowing where to find the answer.

Christian's eyes widened, as if terrified by the prospect of us having a deep conversation.

I didn't want to put him through that, so I shoved my unstable thoughts away.

I hastily wiped the few tears that escaped away, as if they never existed in the first place, but when I spoke my voice was still raw.

"Nothing, I mean what could possible be wrong? Except that I'm dying and there's no way to stop it."

That snapped Christian out of his silence.

"What? No you're not. Being sick doesn't mean you're dying!"

"Yeah but being me, and considering the fact that all things bad happen to me, it does."

He tried a softer approach. He even put his arm around me, trying to act like a big brother.

"Rose, don't talk like that. You're Rose Hathaway, you're indestructible."

I gave a shaky laugh, "Tell Lissa I love her. And no matter what, don't ever let her hurt herself. I'll come back from the dead and personally take you out myself if you do"

"I won't have to stop her from hurting herself because you'll be here." I could see he left no room for argument.

"Thanks Christian." I smiled, meaning it.

"We never had this conversation." I grinned.

"What conversation? You just woke up." he played along.

At that moment, the doorknob turned and in came Dimitri and Lissa. All my previous emotions towards Dimitri were lost, and all the calmness and serenity we sustained during his visit in my cell was gone. I was wary around him again, he asked me to stay away and I was trying to do just that.

I felt the air around us turn awkward, but Lissa broke it.

"Rose?" she asked softly, and I think I know why. Every time she turned hopeful or enthusiastic, the worst happened.

"I'm fine, Liss." I gestured for her to sit next to me.

"Let me heal you, Rose. I want to heal you." Dimitri was standing by the door, but I could feel his steady gaze burning through me. I didn't let him faze me though, and replied.

"Lissa, you can't. The darkness is going to get worse. I'm feeling better already." I smiled weakly.

What a hypocrite I was, confessing to my best friends boyfriend about my fears of dying and lying to my best friend in her face. I truly was horrible.

Christian noticed the irony too, and shot me a glare.

"Rose!" she gasped. "I don't care about that! You're my best friend. You come first. We'll talk about the darkness later. You're more important."

Before I could utter my defence, she reached out and grabbed my arm in hers. I instantly felt the white hot pain, before it turned into peace and pleasure. As the spirit flowed from my body into hers I could feel my temperature dropping and my fever disappearing. My bones no longer ached and my stomach wasn't queasy any more. I truly did feel a thousand times better.

When she was done with the healing session, I gave her a huge hug, feeling the renewed energy flow through my veins.

"Wait," I asked, suddenly remembering. "Why did you go to the clinic first if you could have just healed me?"

"I'm so sorry. I tried healing you earlier, but it didn't work. I didn't know why and I had to go to the nurse for help. She said I was over exerting myself from all the pressure in the Royal Court and that I couldn't heal something as big as this till I had my rest. I'm so sorry, I was so disappointed."

"It's okay, Liss. Thank you for helping me. Christian and I had a blast." I looked over at him, teasing.

"What blast? You just woke up." he feigned innocence.

And for once in a very long, long time. I thought _things_ were going to be okay.

**Don't forget , Revieew and tell me what you think so far. They do inspire me (: **


	4. Chapter 4

**Heyy, thanks for the reviews guyss X **

**they are muchh appreciated, so keep em comingg **

**So, this chapter is mostly a filler, because I hate not updating and to keep you busy while I plan out the more important events X **

**xxx once again thankss, and suggestions are welcome :D **

Chapter 4

Everything calmed down for a few days after that. Two, to be precise. Nothing eventfull had happened. Adrian and I were on good terms, and had gone out for a friendly dinner the first night.

I wore a short strapless red dress and he sported a tux. It was some lavish seven star restaurant in the court. He told me it was a thank you for not dying. Whatever the reason was, the food tasted great.

Lissa hovered around me protectively. Ironic, yes, but I could feel the fear of something happening to me again prickling her mind painfully, so I just let her have her case. Christian and I never spoke of our conversation, but everytime we saw each other we exchanged secretive smiles that had the rest of the party confused.

Dimitri. He was always around Lissa, but back to hiding in the background, not uttering a single word to me after I had gotten better. Not even a congratulations. Harsh, but that's what was included in the 'Love Fades, Mine Has' package. Sometimes, I would feel his gaze on me, but it went as quick as it came, leaving me wondering if it had all been my imagination.

I got riled up about that on the third morning. I decided that if he wanted to ignore me, I'd help him do just that. He did seem to realise that I'd given up on him, because he actually tried to have a human conversation with me. That, and Lissa's darkness from when she had healed me, piled up and drove me off the cliff.

He had the next few days off, till they figured out where to place him for a few weeks, before deciding if he was worthy to be Lissa's guardian again. He tried wallowing in self pity for a few hours, before Lissa dragged him out of his room and took him out to socialize.

I think she brought him a long so that he could babysit me while she had some alone time with Christian. That also added to my wonderful mood.

I walked back to the guardian housing at the end of the day, almost stomping. Dimitri walked behind me, trying to match my uneven pace, and finally spoke.

"Roza, are you alright?" He tried.

"Don't fucking call me that." I hissed.

"Rose, –"

"Shut. Up."

He tried placing a comforting hand on my shoulder, but I shook him off roughly. I was on in front of my door now, the matron downstairs not questioning my former strigoi/mentor's presence.

I unlocked my door, slipping inside. Before I could slam it though, Dimitri's hand shot out and stopped it.

I glared at it hatefully, but by then Dimitri was already inside. He shut the door and locked it, turning to face me.

"What is wrong with you?" he spoke in a harsh tone.

"What's wrong with you?" I shot back, almost spitting the words out. "Aren't you afraid you'll catch the plague? The door's that way, I'm sure Lissa is waiting for her puppy."

"That is no way to speak to your mentor." He snapped.

I scoffed, "Last time I remembered, Comrade. You're not my mentor anymore."

I felt a pang when I remembered his absence on my graduation day.

"But you wouldn't know." He did. He sent me a letter on the same day. "You were on the other side of the world sucking some innocent person's blood." He visibily flinched, and that inevitably softened my insides.

"Dimitri, you can't live like that for the rest of your life. You have to get over it someday. Just because their lives ended doesn't mean yours has to. You have to find peace," my voice grew softer and softer.

His eyes grew darker with each passing word. Due to emotion or anger, I couldn't decipher.

The breath was knocked out of me suddenly, as my back roughtly hit the wall. His arms struck out against mine, pinning me against the wall; not that I wanted to move. I got the exact reaction I needed from him, which was any reaction at all, so long as it displayed some kind of emotion.

"You don't know _anything _about what I've been through." he growled, his face inches away from mine, so close I could smell his aftershave drowning me. _Keep it up, drive him mad. _

"Oh? But I do. I've been there for half of it. Please enlighten me about the other half I've missed out on."

"You don't know how I felt killing all these innocent people. How much I loved it, drinking their blood. That's the worst sin ever and God will never forgive me" his voice sounded pained. So, so pained, and I loved it. Finally, he was breaking free of his guardian mask, pouring everything that was in his heart for the world (me) to see. It was intoxicating.

I kept going. I didn't know what I hoped to achieve by tormenting him, but hopefully it would be something good. I pushed my feelings aside and focused on helping my former-lover get better.

"How do you know ? How do you know God won't forgive you? How'd you even expect God to forgive you if you can't even forgive yourself? Stop being so dramatic, what's done is done! You have to find peace." I yelled the last part.

His eyes were heavy, almost lidded, and his breathing was laboured. He actually looked like he was contemplating what I had said, except his hands on my wrists never loosed by the slightest inch.

I really, really, wanted him to kiss me. Having him this close, and not close enough, was the worst feeling in the world.

"You need to find peace," I whispered against his jaw.

"I have," and his lips descended upon mine.

**AHAH. BET YOU DIDNT SEE THAT ONE COMING. or maybe you did.. nobody knows :P  
R&R **

**XX **


	5. Chapter 5

**heyyyy **

**please don't shoot me?**

**:P im really sorry i haven't updated in a long whilee, but i was buried in beta work, and on top of that I had to travel, so it was really hard to get this chapter out. not that im complaining :P **

**You guys are great, keep the reviewss up **

**BTW. THIS IS AN M RATED CHAPTER. M ! **

**Not T, not R, M! **

**im warning youu , so if you're underage llike I am . AWAY . **

**dont say i didn't warn you :P **

Chapter 5

Everything that was just bliss. Pure, undiluted bliss. I never thought I'd get him back again, and when it finally happened, I was filled with so much emotion I was sure I'd burst.

Apparently, he couldn't hold back either.

His lips moved roughly against mine with a ferocity I didn't think possible. His tongue invaded my mouth and he sucked on my lower lip, going on a super speed. I was trapped against the wall and I could feel every inch of his toned body against mine – which evidently stopped me from complaining.

My hands raked his back, holding onto him tightly. I didn't think I'd let go even if he wanted me to. I yanked his hips towards mine, and when they touched, the moan that escaped his lips almost made me cum right there. One hand grabbed my hips while the other threaded into my hair, yanking out the clip. The locks of my hair spilled over my shoulder and behind my back, but that didn't deter him in any way.

Now, both hands were back on my hips and moving all over my body, making every inch of my burn with a sparkling sensation.

This was it, we would finally be re-united. I wanted to sigh in amazement, but I was afraid that any ordinary day movement would break the magical spell we were in. I gave back as much I took, my hands roaming all over his abs, after I had abruptly yanked all the buttons on his shirt, and moved it just to expose his chest without taking it completely off, and I flicked his nipple with my thumb, feeling his body shiver under my touch. I splayed my hands out on his chest, trying to touch as much of him as possible. Tracing the lines of his muscles and down to his jeans, I reached for the button. He knocked my hand away though, and for a split second where he broke the kiss, I thought he was going to pull away and the spell would be broken.

Thank god for that though, he didn't. As quick as he broke the kiss, his lips were now on my neck.

This time though, there was a hint of desperation. During the whole time, we were still up against the wall – I didn't think we'd be moving any time soon – I was sure my back would be sore the next morning.

He buried his face in my neck, his face now obscured by my hair, and I let out a loud groan, twisting my fingers into his soft head and tugging roughly.

He placed open mouthed kisses on my neck, trailing from my jaw to my collar bone. He pressed so hard purple bruises would be inevitable. I might have imagined it though, the way he held onto me as if I would be gone if he loosened up the slightest. Hard, but in a way tender, as if he treasured me.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Roza." His voice broke. It was raw and rough, his Russian accent in full mode. He buried his head further beyond my hair into my neck, his kisses never ceasing.

"I'm so sorry. Please forgive me, you have to forgive me. I need you so much." He kept murmuring in between kisses. I stroked his head, and tried to soothe him.

"Shhh, you have nothing to apologize for. Everything's perfect right now." and I was a hundred percent sure of that, but he continued.

"I'm so sorry. I love you so much. So, so much. I didn't mean to do any of these things. Please." he whispered the last word, and it was choked.

"Ya tebya lyublyu. Ya izvinyayus"

As much as I loved hearing him speak his sexy mother tongue, I knew I had to shut him up – frankly put.

I knew he said he'd forgive himself, but I think he was asking for my forgiveness right now. If it wasn't already obvious, I never blamed him in the first place.

That's why I yanked his head back with his hair, and brought my lips back down to his, mumbling a quick "Shut up."

Really, it was effective, because he argued no further and started to progress onto level two.

I understood why he was moving so fast. He wanted us to be together as fast as possible, if just one last time, before something else stood in the way. It had been way, way, too long, and our self control had finally snapped, no threads remaining in sight.

His hands pulled at the bottom of my shirt, and I sucked my hands in through the holes quickly, throwing it on the floor. He unbuttoned my shorts though, making sure his fingers came in contact with my crotch, making my hips buck involuntarily, and he smirked.

I wrapped my arms around his neck for balance and stepped out of the shorts as he pulled them down, his arms leaving a blazing fire as they swept across my thighs.

I purred in contentment and my hands shot out, grabbing his wrists, and placing them on my sides.

I then returned the favour, kissing his shoulder softly and unbuttoning his pants. I rubbed my palm on the front of his pants and I felt something twitch in response, making me giggle like a school girl.

After discarding his lower garments, _both of them_, I was flipped around so I was now facing the wall. Acting naturally, I spread both my hands out across the wall, doing the same with my legs. Dimitri's back was pressed to mine and his hands roamed freely around my body, fondling my breasts before resting on either side of my head on the wall.

Without any warning he thrust into me, and a little squeak escaped me. His mouth latched onto my neck and he started sucking, licking and kissing. I made sounds so loud our neighbour's neighbours probably heard, and since they were fellow Guardians, that wasn't a good sign.

After a second I got used to the feeling of him inside me.

Tears would've come to my eyes at that moment, from the feeling of being connected again. All the world's worries left that night. I wanted to scream to the world, to write it in the sky, that Dimitri Belikov was mine. That I had the greatest gift in the world.

And oh no, I _never _wanted to let go of him. _Not ever. _

I loved him so, so much I could feel my heart constrict.

He started thrusting again, harder this time. And he was murmuring things in my ear in Russian. Things I couldn't begin to understand, yet they brought butterflies flooding my stomach just from the way he was saying them. Dimitri's hands left the wall and instead cupped my breasts, I moved my hips in sync with his, and I met him half way. I felt a burning sensation down there, and something deep within me coil. The sounds I made must have encouraged Dimitri because he urged me on, increasing his pace. The same way we understood each other without words, the same way I was sure our hearts beat in sync, and the same way I knew we were souls mates – destined for one another – we came at the same time, and when his body sagged against mine, that's when I knew nothing would ever tear us apart.

He turned me around and pressed kisses to my face. Soft, tender kisses that made my insides melt. He cradled my face in his strong but soft, calloused hands, and kept whispering.

"I love you so much. My angel. I will never let you go, Roza. You are truly amazing."

Not him. Not only him. I also feel the same way about him, and I wanted to show him. I gently nudged him backwards towards the bed, and when the insides of his knees hit the mattress, his back was flat on it. I climbed on his stomach, straddling him while ignoring the slowly rebuilding erection.

His muscles tensed beneath me and I ran my hands up his body from his hips to his neck, bringing my lips down to kiss the hollow in his throat. A growl emanated from somewhere deep at the back of his throat, and I smiled before licking a path till the bottom of his ear and sucking on a sensitive spot I just figured out he loved ( given the positive reaction ).

His erection was in full mode now and once again, I was under. I didn't mind being dominated in this situation.

His hands were on both sides of my head, each grabbing a pillow. He was smiling a small smile filled with all the happiness in the world shining through his eyes.

He slowly reached out and caressed my cheek.

"I'm sorry it was so fast. I was afraid I'd lose you again, that something else would stop us. I couldn't bear the thought of something like that happening again, Roza. I need you."

"it's okay. It was amazing, so amazing. Don't ever be sorry."

"I'll make it up to you." his breath was next to my ear, and slowly, his tongue flicked out to my earlobe. I squirmed, giggling, but he held me down now, with only one of his hands trapping both of mine above my head. He showered my neck with butterfly kisses, each one softer than the other.

Dimitri continued his path down my body, taking a rest at my two breasts. He flicked a hard nipple first, before taking it all into his mouth. I writhed under his heated touch, but it didn't have any effect because after a _long _time of him making me wet, he moved to the other nipple. I was going to spontaneously combust when he lightly bit one.

"Oh god," I moaned.

He licked the peak in between, tasting the skin. "Not god, Roza. This is me, all me."

"Dimitri, please." I begged.

"Please what, Roza? Tell me what you need." He smirked, and went down to my belly button.

"Lower, Dimitri." I groaned, barely able to form words.

"You know what I want," I growled in frustration.

He was now at my hipbone, softly tracing the curve.

"Lower, ungh!" my hips bucked towards him.

His nose was now at my centre and he inhaled.

"Dimitri!" I yelled, aghast.

He ignored my protest and plunged his tongue into me.

My reply was cut of by a scream of pleasure.

He still wouldn't let go of my hands so I was unable to pull him closer, however, his free hand cupped my ass and lifted me up so he could gain more access. I could feel myself dripping, and his tongue was lapping up everything it could.

All I could think, all I could say, was Dimitri. Dimitri. Comrade.

He was every where right now, I didn't think I could handle more than this. I writhed, and squirmed, and bucked like a wild horse under him.

He was relentless in his job, flicking my clit with his tongue like that brought me to the seventh heaven.

"Dimitri!" I cried out loud, hoping for some release. The animalistic sounds coming out of my mouth were so unlike me I would've frozen in surprise. But I was happy, I was letting go with the one I loved.

"Come on, Roza. Let it all out. Let me taste you. Vy tak chertovski seksual' no. Ty moya tol'ko."

And for the second time that night, I came. I came so hard it felt like an earthquake and I was sure I saw stars.

A low, satisfied groan emanated from me, and I stopped struggling, succumbing to the heavenly feelings floating inside me, as he lapped up my juices, a drop sliding down his jaw. He gave me one last lick and connected our mouths in less then a second. I could taste my remains on him which made it all the more erotic. Our tongues battled for dominance, and without taking a rest, I found him inside me.

It wasn't hard and fast paced like the first time. It was slow and sensual as our lips and bodies connected, like two pieces of a puzzle. I felt so at peace tears came to my eyes.

He wiped them away with the pad of their thumb, slowly thrusting in me. "I love you, Roza. Forever."

Sweat beaded on my forehead and my eyes were hooded from the sensual emotions in me. That didn't stop me from bringing our foreheads together and whispering to him "Forever, Comrade. We'll be together forever, till we're a hundred years old and beyond. Nothing will _ever _tear us apart."

He kissed my forehead, still thrusting inside me. "Nothing."

I didn't understand what people meant by sexual peak until right now. I didn't believe I had the energy left for a third time, but everything's possible. That was proved correct when yet again, we both came together. I think this time was the best though, because we really connected body mind and soul. As he whispered to me soothing words of love, I relaxed into his arms and we crawled under the covers.

"Forever, Comrade."

"I'll hold you to it, Roza." he kissed my forehead.

I went to sleep feeling better than I had in years, curled up in my soul mate's arms.

**Like i said, M :P **

**R&R x**

**btww, the russian in these chapters **

** tebya lyublyu = I love you**

** izvinyayus = I'm sorry**

** tak chertovski seksual' no = you're so fucking sexy **

** moya tol'ko = you're mine only**

**xxx **


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey :D Reaally sorry about the late updates. :( I've been like freakin' extremely busy. NO TIME TO BREATHE. **

**I try to get a little bit of writing done every day but I've been unsuccessful on most. Didn't stop me from trying though. **

**I really appreciate all your reviews and they have made my days on numerous occasions :D Keep it up xx**

**p.s - VA DOESN'T BELONG TO ME. YEAH, IM JEALOUS TOO.**

Chapter 6

I woke up peacefully the next day, yawning. Slightly, so as not to shake the bed, I titled my neck to the side, only to find Dimitri breathing deeply. He looked so serene and beautiful right there, I would've melted. He wasn't wearing any clothes, neither was I though, and my back was pressed up against his chest, keeping us both warm. One of his arms was draped around my waist, resting in front of me, the other at his side. His face was nuzzled in my neck, his breath tickling my ear.

I never wanted to move from this place. This was my definition of heaven.

I shifted slowly, trying to slide under his hand. I was almost off the bed when I was abruptly pulled back, hitting his hard chest.

"You're not getting away that easily " he smiled, kissing the tip of my nose.

"Morning, Comrade." I replied, affectionately, wrapping my arms around his neck.

Every inch of my body was pressed up against his, and while I didn't have a sore back due to all the training I've done, I wasn't sure my body could survive any more pleasure.

He traced the side of my face lightly with his long fingers, stopping to cup my cheek, and then he drew me in for a kiss. Surprisingly, he kept it soft and sweet, even when I tried to deepen it.

He disconnected us and wrapped his arm around my shoulders, drawing me in. My face resting in the crook of his neck.

"Good morning, Roza." he breathed, placing a kiss on my forehead.

"I don't want to get out of bed," I whined,

"We have to go check on the Queen."

I didn't bother correcting him, knowing his formality always got the best of him.

Just because it was Lissa, I agreed.

We got up together, glancing around to find our clothes. I put on a new pair of underpants and my plain black training pants, grabbing my bra. Suddenly, it was snatched out of my hand and Dimitri's lips were at my ear, "Let me." he whispered huskily.

I blushed the brightest shade of red, and for once I had no comeback. He slid the bra straps up my arms, his hands resting on my back, clasping the bra. They stayed there for an extra heartbeat and he drew them to my shoulders, placing a kiss in the part between my neck and my shoulder, making me shudder.

I smiled a small, shy smile at him, but I wanted to return the favour. I grabbed his t-shirt from off the table and slid it through his arms, letting my hands linger on his skin for more than necessary, feeling his rock hard abs beneath me. I leaned in and gave him a kiss on the mouth, pulling away before things could get serious.

His eyes twinkled mischievously and we were about to get pre-occupied, when he got a phone call. He pulled away, answering his mobile and putting on his duster at the same time. I took the opportunity to dress up in a black camisole and a black jumper – I had to blend in.

"Guardian Belikov" he spoke in monotone, and I felt a thrill of happiness whenever I was reminded that he got his guardian title back – he was the most one in the world who deserves it.

That feeling however, didn't last very long.

His posture turned rigid in less than a second and his jaw clenched in strain, I immediately became worried.

"I'll be right down." and he shut the phone, marching to his drawer and pulling out two stakes, handing one to me.

I would've asked, but I knew. I already knew. "Strigoi."

"Yes, in the Eastern part of the Court."

I clutched the stake tightly to me and headed to the door. Abruptly, I was yanked back, Dimitri's hot mouth covering mine.

The kiss was raw, powerful, and full of desperation. "Please, Roza. I'm prepared to go down on my knees. Please, don't do anything stupid. I _can't _loose you, I'll be lost without you." With one last kiss , "Please, stay safe." His eyes were shut in anguish.

"Always and Forever, Comrade. Always and forever." I laced our hands together and brought his up to my lips and kissed it.

We were out the door in quarter of a second, and I knew we had to split up, each taking a side till we reached our destination.

It also hurt me to leave him, and I wanted him to promise me he would come back in once piece, but he was gone before I could utter a word, probably wanting to get this over with.

I crept along the edges of the building, hiding between the bushes, when I heard a small whimper. The grounds were all empty, and I assumed that all the people were in the mega large church in the middle of court. I glided along the paths, following the noise, till I came to a dark area behind a statue. From a far distance, I could see a large figure crouched next to what I assumed was a Moroi, chewing on their neck. Anger flared up within me at the sight, and while he was all too consumed in his feast, I counted to three and launched myself at him. He barely had a moment to fight back, because then he was limp next to the girl, I realised. I moved her long blond hair away from her neck to assess the situation, and it needed serious attention.

I cradled the unconscious girl in my arm and sprinted towards the infirmary. Thank god it was right across the corner, so I slammed the door open, ready to hand her over to a doctor. but the place was deserted. Quickly, my mind reeled as to where they would be, and the next thing that came to mind was the church, my legs flying before I registered the thought. I found lots of Strigoi lurking around the church, trying to prevent more people from entering. I couldn't waste time though, I dived through the doors, barely missing a Strigoi's grasp, I passed her to a guardian situated indoors and mutter a "Doctor" before I ran back out the safe haven and into the massacre.

We fought for hours and hours, both our sides and theirs losing numbers. I saw no sign of Dimitri, but I oddly didn't feel worried about him. I was getting pretty exhausted though. I had staked over 20 Strigoi, and somewhere during the fight, I found fire wielding Moroi fighting alongside the Guardians. That truly did soften my heart and gave me the incentive to keep going.

Of course, when all of this first started I had already checked on Lissa. She was the first to be brought to safety, thank god, and I knew if anything serious happened I'd be in her head in no time.

After a few more hours the fight had died down, and I had dispatched the last Strigoi with a stake to their back, about to collapse. There were no more left, and the grounds were littered with different species of Moroi, Dhampir and Strigoi alike. I was pleased to know the Strigoi count outnumbered the other two put together; they were on our grounds this time.

I still had no sign of Dimitri, but I guessed he was already at the church, gathering up with the remaining guardians to return everyone back to their homes while the wards were being put back up. That's where I was headed.

Trudging halfway through the path, I was sharply sucked in to Lissa's head, and I froze.

I couldn't believe it. My mind literally couldn't comprehend.

Lissa was facing off a Strigoi, a stake in her hand. She was scared, nervous and excited at the same time. _Are you out of your fucking mind? _I mentally yelled at her, even though I knew she couldn't hear me.

And she had the decency to make conversation.

"Look, I can turn you back. We've found a way, Jesse. This shouldn't have happened to you. We killed them all, they're not going to get you. I can turn you back right this second. Ralf was worried about you."

I didn't notice that, didn't know it was Jesse. In my eyes, they were all Strigoi to me. I had gotten over my feelings a long time ago.

Watching this whole encounter play out, I ran towards Lissa who was standing in the forest where the guardian cabins were situated, sweat trickling down her forehead. I mentally cursed, realising they were all at the fight. She must have compelled them to let her go.

Jesse was circling her with a hungry look in his eyes, and I prayed to the god Lissa believed in, with all my might, that I'd be able to get there in time.

"Lissa, you don't understand. I don't want to be turned back. You don't know how it feels. Tell Ralf I don't need him any more, and that I never did in the first place. And now that I think of it, I am hungry, and you look extremely delicious."

I stepped out through the trees, adrenaline pumping through my veins. Without stopping for chitchat, I launched myself at Jesse. Surprisingly, he knew how to fight back using his brains.

Lissa panicked.

"Rose, NO. You're not supposed to be here!"

I was furious at her. He threw a punch at me, which I easily ducked, all the while maintaining a conversation with Liss.

"I'm not supposed to be here? Lissa get back now!" I yelled, throwing a kick at him, and he caught my leg throwing me over him. I landed back easily, even though I felt a jab at my ankle.

"Rose, I can do this, I charmed the stake. He wasn't meant to be Strigoi, I can turn him back. He doesn't deserve this!" she pleaded. Jesse wasn't advancing on her though, he concentrated on taking me out.

Lissa tried to come nearer and Jesse turned towards her. Acting on the instinct to protect my best friend, I launched myself in front of her, shoving her out of his way. He caught a hold of my neck and yanked me back against the tree.

"Rose!" Lissa yelled, frozen to the spot. Tears started pooling down her cheeks.

Jesse's grip on my throat was choking, and I could barely draw a breath in, the pressure increasing every second.

"Lissa, go back to the chapel now!"

She was still crying though, "I won't leave you alone Rose, please. I need you!"

"Go back, and call someone for help. That's the only way you can help me right now. Go back, stay safe, and get help." I gave her the firmest look I could, and with a broken "I love you, Rose." She turned around and ran back into the direction we came from.

I meant it when I told her to stay safe, but the part about getting help, that wasn't going to do me any good. No help could arrive in time for this. I could only hope Dimitri understood how much I loved him, and wouldn't do anything stupid.

Black spots appeared in my vision, and I desperately tried clawing at Jesse's immovable hands. My whole body convulsing.

"Rose, Rose. This is for all the times you've stood in my way. I'm finally getting rid of you. And by the way, I still think it was you who killed the Queen."

I made a garbled, strangled noise at the back of my throat, and an angry tear escaped.

"Jesse!" I tried reached for the spare stake at the back of my shoe, lifting my leg closer to me.

He slammed my arm into the wall, consequently breaking it.

I couldn't stand the pain any more. I couldn't breathe, my lungs were failing and I knew my heart would too. The only thing that kept me alive for an extra millisecond, was when the Russian love of my life appeared at the beginning of the clearing, diving for Jesse, a horrified "Roza, No!" escaped his lips.

Again, I was momentarily stalled when I heard a piercing, screeching, agonized scream, which I faintly recognized as Lissa. I couldn't comprehend enough to do anything about it though.

_I love you_, I softly thought. _I'm sorry. _

Then all turned black.

**yo, really sorry about the ending. **

**No one flame me though, I warned you all more than once and it's in the summary. so yeah**

**its still not over though**

**next chapter will be in a different pov for obvious reasons :P **

**R&R  
XXX  
BYELOVERS **


	7. Chapter 7

**Heyy peeps, sorry for the long wait :S i've just been extremely busy loaded with exams. Hope you all don't hate me, although it probably is inevitable after you read this chapter :P **

**don't say I didn't warn you (: **

Chapter 7

Dpov:

The fight didn't last long, only a couple of hours. As the sun went down, I drove my stake through the last Strigoi's body. She opened her mouth to scream, but all that came out was a gurgle as the blood left her body.

I pulled my stake out of her chest, making sure she was dead, then I dropped her on the floor.

Scanning the perimeters around me, I found no visible threats. Only deceased bodies of two races littered across the grass. This fight was ours; we had a lower death count then they did obviously, even if they did try to catch us by surprise.

Roza, my mind automatically drifted to her. Always her. My beautiful, strong, brave fighter, and I longed to know of her status. Was she okay? Was she hurt? Where was she right now?

I passed a guardian and we discussed today's statistics. He finally left me to report back, but I told him I'd hang around for a while longer.

Feeling bad about the lives I'd taken tonight, I drew in a deep breath and sheathed my stake.

Suddenly, the worst feeling in the world punched me in my stomach. I was filled with dread, so much dread, and I started to panic, thinking of Rose.

The feeling only in intensified and without knowing where I was going, I instinctively took off into the trees. I ran faster then I ever had in my life, my heart pounding in my chest. I didn't understand what was going on, I just needed to find Roza. I needed to make sure she was safe. She promised me, oh god. She promised me.

The harsh, cold wind stung my face and my duster flew behind me but I continued. I couldn't stop. I couldn't shake the feeling of hopelessness that engulfed me and I didn't understand it's reason.

I found Lissa standing in the middle of trees, not far from the clearing, sobbing in Christian's arm.

"Princess." I tried to keep my cool, "Are you hurt?"

She was crying like it was the end of the world, choking on her tears. And one person jumped in my mind.

Lissa suddenly started shoving me towards the clearing. "Go, go! You have to go. Rose needs you! She's going to die, hurry!" She started screamed frantically, still crying.

I knew what I was doing was wrong, picking someone else over my charge, but that wasn't just someone else. That was Rose. Christian could see the hesitation in my eyes, and urged me on.

"Go! I'll stay with her." He wrapped his arm around the last Dragomir, and in the blink of an eye I was gone.

I didn't know what to expect, what to be prepared for. But surely not this. Never this.

I almost froze in shock, my eyes widening momentarily. I didn't stop though, I had to save her.

There my Roza was, pinned by a blond Strigoi to a tree trunk, gasping for her breath.

"Roza! NO!" Her face was turning an extreme shade of purple. I pounced on the Strigoi shoving him away from her. She fell limply to the floor and I was terrified on the inside. Absolutely terrified. I quickly took down the Strigoi and ran over to her.

Please god, please. Please let her be alive. A piercing scream echoed through the woods and Lissa ran out through the trees, Christian close behind her.

"Rose! Rose please wake up. Rose, please!" she wept. She was now kneeling beside her best friend, hand in hers, trying to heal her.

It took all my years of guardian training to hold myself together at that moment. I held her lifeless hand in mine and checked for a pulse.

None.

It's not. It's not over yet. The Princess was going to bring her back. Everything would be the same again, Rose would keep her promise to me. She always keeps her promises. I couldn't break down just yet.

"Please, please, please." Princess Lissa prayed all over again, eyes shut tight, concentrating on Rose. Nothing happened. Absolutely nothing. Except Lissa fainting in Christian's arm then and there.

Guardian Petrov emerged from the trees, along with other guardians.

I couldn't stand this. I needed Rose. The utter and complete abandon I felt right there almost consumed me. I was her mentor. She'd listen to me. She has to listen to what I tell her. I picked up her sleeping body – my mind still not recognizing it as a corpse – and cradled her in my arms.

Without a word, only a sad look, Alberta let me go. No one followed.

I knew the locations of every single cabin situated around the forest, and soon I reached a large brown one with 2 rooms. I managed to get the door open and kicked it shut with my leg. My breathing was heavy and laboured.

I gently placed Rose down on the bed and took a stance by the wall.

"Rose, wake up."

No answer.

I started to get irritated. What kind of sick game was she trying to play with me?

"Rose, I said get up." I knew that if Rose woke up she'd say something like "No you didn't. You said 'wake up'"

But she didn't say that, and I didn't scold her.

My anger was quickly rising. I was _mad with grief_.

"Roza, as your mentor I command you to stand the fuck up!" under any other circumstances, I would've never sworn in front of a person.

I was a mixture between panic and furious. I strode towards her and grabbed her frail shoulders, shaking her roughly.

"Rose, you promised me! You told me you wouldn't let anything happen. God dammit, wake up! I need you. I can't do it without you Roza, I need you. Wake up now!" Tears started to flow from my eyes, and I did nothing to stop them. Down on my knees beside the bed, I held her pale, grey hand in mine and kissed it tenderly.

"Please," my voice trembled. I couldn't comprehend. I couldn't see this happening. I couldn't imagine Rose leaving this world so young. It wasn't fair.

"Please wake up." I whispered, kissing each fingertip. "I need you so much. I love you, Roza. Don't die on me. Pozhaluĭsta, Roza. Pozhaluĭsta. YA nuzhdayusʹ v tebe. YA lyublyu tebya. Yesli ne dlya menya, dumatʹ o printsesse. Lissa nuzhdaet·sya v vas. Ty yee svyazʹ Mate, ona budet shoditʹ s uma bez tebya." I couldn't see through my tears any more, and I wiped them away savagely. My inside was shattered. Completely shattered. I couldn't feel anything but the pain. The all-consuming agony of losing the one thing I existed for. My chest ached hollow, clenching every time I tried speaking, tried thinking.

At that point in life, I wasn't a guardian any more. I was just a plain mortal, mourning the love of his life. It wasn't sane to call us just lovers after what we had been through. We were soul mates, forever and always. There would never be any other for me. I would never feel complete again, happy again. All gone. Everything was gone. The tears fell harder, as I climbed onto the bed next to her. I took her once-vibrant body in. My heart broke again, harder this time. There would be no coming back from this. Her usually tanned body was pale and greyish, lacking any glow whatsoever. Her neck though, her neck was ravaged. It was purple in some areas and blue in others. I reached out to touch it tenderly, and it discoloured beneath my finger. "Oh, Roza" I moaned in my mother tongue. I gathered her up in my arms and cradled her in my chest, my chin resting on her head.

Oh her hair. Her beautiful brown hair. The first thing that drew me in about her. It was now stuck to her face in a thin sheet of evaporating sweat. It didn't have that lustre and volume that drove me crazy, itching to thread my hands in her hair. She wasn't the same any more, everything's changed.

I didn't want them to take her away from me and bury her. I wanted her always by my side. I didn't know what I was supposed to do in my life any more. Even though I couldn't father her children I'd always hoped we would still have some kind of future together. I thought we were perfect for each other, no one made me feel the way she did.

She was the one who saved me from that horrible state, and oh god, I regret every second of me rejecting her. If only, if only I knew this would happen, if I knew our time was that short. I would've never, ever, told her our love had faded. I would've spent every waking second with her, and every sleeping one by her side.

I kept kissing her soft head every once in a while, drinking in her fading scent, my chest tightening every time it smelled fainter. I was just murmuring words to her in Russian because I knew she loved it when I talked my home language, and I kept telling her how much I loved her, how much I needed her. Tears still fell from my face, but I didn't move, just rocked the both of us slightly.

Of course I had to keep guarding Vasilisa. Roza wouldn't have it any other way and would kill me herself in the afterlife if I did something drastic. I would get my revenge. Every single Strigoi unlucky enough to bump into me would regret the day they were turned.

Oh Rose, I tightened my hold around her, never wanting to let go.

"I love you, Roza. Always and forever."

We stayed there for a while longer. To be honest, I had no idea how long. Days, years, hell even the end of the world might have come and I wouldn't have noticed.

A knock on the cabin door woke me out of my misery.

Guardian Petrov's face showed from behind the door, not bothering to mask the sadness she felt.

"Dimitri" she whispered, and I didn't reply, just clutched Roza tighter to me, rubbing her arms softly.

"Please," I whispered in her ear. "They're going to take you away. Just wake up and prove to me that you're a fighter, Roza. That you keep your promises. Please," Tears slipped from my eyes again.

"Dimitri, we need to get Rose back. Princess Vasilisa still hasn't said her goodbyes, and she's her bond mate. Just find you're peace now, Belikov. We all know she was a wonderful and talented guardian and friend, and that she will never be forgotten. You have to move on."

I just stared at Alberta's face, begging her to understand.

"Guardian Belikov – " I cut her off.

"Alberta, please." I almost whimpered. "She's all I have left," a choked sound left me. "I don't have any one else but her, please don't take her." I begged her, having thrown all my pride out the window since the beginning of this incident.

Her face was torn, I could see. She knew what she had to do, but at the same time she didn't know how to handle me. I wondered then if she was put in the same position I was in before.

"Dimitri, Rose loved you," I winced when she said _loved,_ "We all know she did. She wouldn't want you feeling bad like this, she would want you to move on, and as how she puts it 'kick some ass'. Don't disappoint her, she's up there looking at you, being proud of everything you've achieved. Now you have to give her to me so the doctor can deal with her accordingly, I promise you will both be re-united."

I stroked her face again, murmuring words of apology. I reluctantly handed her memorized body over to Alberta, my broken heart shattering into minuscule pieces.

Wanting to have this moment over with, she gave me a sad smile and touched my forearm slightly, before turning and walking away, my heart folded in her hands.

Rose, my arm extended slightly.

My brain cried out for her.

Rose, my hand stayed there, as if reaching after her.

My heart cried out for her.

I dropped my hand into my lap.

Roza, you were the only one who could truly bring me to my knees.

Ya tebya lyublyu.

**Hey again. Peace? :P **

**I said this would end tragically, didn't I ? **

**Don't hate on me just yet, the story isn't over (A) **

**Seriously, you'd wanna stick around to see the ending. **

**Wonder what happened to Lissa though? Did she lose her mind?**

**I guess we'll have to wait and see. **


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey :D I'm terribly sorry for the long wait, but I've been bombarded with tons of work and sadly this was kind of rushed because i didn't want to keep you guys waiting any longer because i felt guilty and I didn't want to take the chances of having more work to be done.  
I want you guys to know I appreciate each and every one of your reviews, and I always read them in the morning before I start my day, because they always make it :D **

**Lovee youu alll, thankss for the reviewss and Keep them up ;) I love feedback .**

**PLease don't hate me. The story isn't over yet :D xx **

**Disclaimer. Even though it's obvious since I'm on FAN fiction this isn't Richelle's work. It's mine but they're her characters. **

**Thanks for introducing such wonderful people to our lives :D we owe you one :***

Chapter 9

Christian's POV:

Day Three. God, when did everything turn upside down? For the first time, I didn't have an answer to our problems. I didn't even have a sarcastic comment.

Poor Rose. We'd always made fun of each other but I genuinely loved her as a sister and her loss hurt me deeply. I regret not telling her before, and I wished I was there to save her. Now Lissa was suffering the after effects.

There she was, sitting in the corner, sobbing her heart out. Literally, the floor around her was drenched, and she was trembling so fast it seemed as if she was vibrating. My heart clenched seeing her in a state even I couldn't save her from, and my breathing became laboured as her sobs grew.

The first day, after she woke up, she disregarded everything that had happened, her mind refusing to acknowledge it. She woke up the next day after she fainted, and the doctor said it was because of the exhaustion of healing. I didn't see the logic in that if Rose was still dead. Alberta was the one who took Rose to the hospital and she was the one always around, taking care of the information.

Lissa woke up in a cheerful mood and reached out to kiss me.

I hesitated, scared of her reaction when she found out. She and Rose were best friends, sisters, and bond mates. They _were_ bond mates before my confused aunt shot Rose in the chest, killing her. Rose brought herself back though, without healing, which had effectively broken the bond.

I kissed her back though, tentatively. She was my salvation, my hope, the reason the world didn't seem as dark as it really was. And she was about to lose it. She was going to go crazy, and this time even I wouldn't be able to stop it.

She jumped out of bed, energetic. "I'll meet you later today, I promised Rose I'd go shopping with her." She did have this conversation with Rose, before any of this mess had ever happened.

I reached out and stopped her before she turned to her closet. "No," I murmured, scaring of telling the truth.

She gave a cheeky smile and danced out of my arm, giggling. "No? And why not?"

I just hope big guns up there gives her strength.

"Because, uh," what was I supposed to say? That her practical sister had gotten choked to death by a Strigoi and she hadn't been able to heal her? Smooth.

"Because she's not here." I finally continued.

She dropped the dress she unhooked from the hanger and asked, eyes wide. "Well then, where is she?" She sensed my seriousness.

"She's gone, Liss." I said softly. "Try to remember."

"yeah okay, did she go on a holiday or something? Because I told her she could take one whenever she needed."

I didn't want to stall any longer. Poor Lissa, thinking of all the innocent things but not the bigger picture.

"Liss, please." I reached out and touched her soft hair, trying to take a deep breath. "You have to remember. It's the only way you'll find peace."

"What are you talking about?" she asked, confused. "Are you – " she stopped talking and her eyes stayed fixed at a random point in the wall.

My fists clenched tense, ready for her reaction. Liss would go nuts. I felt just as bad about Rose's death but I couldn't mourn just yet. Lissa needed me.

She suddenly broke out of her trance, and I concluded that she remembered everything now.

Tears were spilling out of her eyes in a frenzy and she turned to me with wide eyes, bottom lip trembling.

"Christian? Tell me it isn't true. Tell me Rose is just unconscious because she hit her head sparring."

She looked so hopeless that my heart gave a tiny tug. I couldn't answer her like this so I reached towards her in an attempt to wrap my arms around her and comfort her, but she tore out of my grasp as if I were an attacker.

"God, No!" she cried, turning towards the door. "I have to find, Rose. I need her and she needs me! I can't live without her."

"Liss, no." I spoke softly, trying to calm her down. "You can't. They won't let anyone in to see her. they're just doing the final tests before they bury her. You did all you could, I promise."

She still tried fighting me, but even though I wasn't a Dhampir, I was still stronger than her. I caught her both her hands in mine and pulled her away from the door she was about to ram down.

"Liss, think of Rose. She wouldn't want you to suffer like this. She always wants to protect you. Think of her. You have to keep yourself safe for her, and you have to find peace. Please calm down, we'll see if you can go to her in the morning." She was trembling in my arms, tears flooding her whole face and eyes wide with hurt. I couldn't believe this was happening to her. She was so young, so very young. The same as Rose when she watched Mason get killed. Those to sisters, always going through so much, and being so strong. Lissa needed me right now. I would go say my goodbyes to Rose, but after I helped Lissa. Suddenly, her knees buckled, and if she wasn't in my arms already, she would have hit the ground. She let out a cry of pain, and I began to panic.

"Lissa, what's wrong? What's happening?" she had both her hands clutching the sides of her head, and her eyes shut tightly in panic.

"Rose." She moaned in pain. "My head hurts so much. It hurts so much." the last part came out as a whimper, and I'd never seen my girlfriend this helpless before. Not even when we faced Strigoi.

"it's okay, it's okay." I rubbed soothing circles on her back. "Should I get some painkillers?"

she ignored me. "it's all my fault." she sobbed. "I killed her, Christian. She died to protect me. I just wanted to bring Jesse back. I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I'm so sorry, Rose. Please. You're my sister. Oh god, my head." she wiped at her tears, more quickly following. I had a feeling the pain in her head had to do with an overload of spirit. She needed to rest, badly. Maybe tomorrow she would be able to handle it better. Her duties as a Queen would have to wait, she was mourning family right now.

I helped her up, her frail body still trembling in my arms, and carried her to the bathroom. She changed into her pyjamas and washed her face, all the time mumbling about how she didn't want to sleep, and how she didn't want to live without, Rose. I didn't take offence in that because I knew how important Rose was to Lissa's life. They had been together all their lives, and even though we were both madly in love, me and Rose held equal places in her heart. But how could she go on with only a half? I truly wished that she would get over this ordeal.

That was day number one. The first night, I practically squashed her body to mine. There was just enough space for to inhale and exhale. I wouldn't let up though. My hands wound around her body, holding her back to me, and her face rested on my chest. I continued to murmur soothing words, and assuring her that I loved her, and that I'd always be there for her. I also continued to tell her that Rose would be always proud of her, and that Rose would be ecstatic she died this way, protecting her charge instead of falling down the stairs or something. That almost brought a smile to my lips.

She woke me up in the middle of the night, startling me, making me think something happened to her. It was a loud scream at first, but then she continued squeezing her head from the pain, almost as if she wanted it to drip out. I made her do breathing exercises and after she had it under control, I told her I'd be right back and went to the kitchen to get her some water. My Moroi senses picked up on a rusty scent coming from the room, and when I went back, I gasped.

"Lissa, what the hell do you think you're doing?" I growled, furious.

Her blond hair covered her face, so I couldn't see her expression. But the curtain was drawn back when she looked up.

I yanked her up from her right fore arm and dragged her to the bathroom. When I did that, and when she dropped the piece of bloody glass on the bed, I heard a whimper of pain that made me freeze. I abruptly let go of her right arm and grabbed her left, still leading her on. I was about to call her crazy, in my enraged state, but held myself back last second. I knew she wasn't but I still didn't want to hear her answer.

Her feet struggled not to get tangled in the plush Persian carpet we had in our bedroom but when we reached the bathroom, I grabbed the towel roughly, breathing hard.

"Don't you ever fucking do that again." I said in a low, hard tone. Her eyes had an almost glazed quality about them. Not the bright,sparkly green I loved. I wet the yellow towel under the open tap, and dabbed the carved 'R' on the inside of her arm. She winced slightly when it made contact, but I didn't let up. I wouldn't take the chance of getting it infected. Not being able to help myself – I was also shaken by this event – I crushed my lips to hers. I didn't give her enough time to respond, when I pulled away. I was still angry at her for this irrational act, but I undoubtedly loved her, and I wanted to assure myself that she was safe.

"what the fuck were you thinking?" my voice trembled. I steadied it. "Never, do that again. Ever."

I dipped the towel in medicine alcohol and disinfected the wound.

She stuttered. "I- I wasn't thinking. I don't – I don't know why I just did that. Christian. It hurts so much, I can't s -s -stand it. I just wanted it to stop, I swear I wasn't trying to kill myself. I just wanted to make the pain go away." the tears started again.

I needed to know which pain she was talking about. The physical pain of the letter she had carved on her arm – an R to symbolise Rose – or the emotional pain that would take a longer time to heal. I didn't know if she just wanted an R or if she was planning on branding herself with her former bond mate's initials. I'd rather not find out.

"What hurts, Liss? Tell me baby, so I can make it feel better."

She tentatively lifted her arm, and the gesture she made literally brought tears to my eyes. She touched her heart.

My voice was hoarse. "I'm so sorry, baby. I'm sorry for everything that's happened. I wish I could make it go away, Liss. I really do. But it will, I promise you it will. You just have to wait it out, like I did when my parents died. It'll go away, I promise baby. Please, stay strong. I'm here for you, I promise. Rose wouldn't want you doing this to yourself. Heck if she was here she would've killed me for not taking better care. It's okay babe. Your heart will heal. You'll live again." I kissed her cheek, and after I bandaged her arm, I took her back to bed. This time I stayed up all night, watching her. She appeared to be crying, even in her sleep, and I was left wondering if she would truly get over this tragedy?

Please God, I know I've never believed in you until now. But Lissa has, and she needs you. Please help her.

That was only Night 1.

Day 2 was eventful, but Day Three was the freakiest of my life.

**So how was it? Good? Bad? Downright depressing? Was Christian's character too OOC? **

**Lemme know in a review :D xx **

**ill try to get the next one up soon :***


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey you guyss. I feel like I'm apologizing every single chapter for the late updates. :S **

**I wanna thank : Annie1997,nicole,DimitriandRose7,roseskyangel,D. Kelly, olivia williams,WildChildBornGood, & LovinTheSun1996**

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Chapter 9

Christian POV

As I planned it, I didn't get any sleep at night. Lissa did though, but I could see it was troubled. I made her breakfast and was extra careful not to set her off. We were sitting on the kitchen table eating eggs and bacon, not one of us mentioning anything from the previous night.

I played around with the edge of my fork when I heard a knock on the door.

It was one of the Royal Guards situated around her wing. I was ecstatic that they hadn't intervened in our business yesterday night, but what would they need right now?

"Her Highness, Queen Vasilisa has been requested to attend a meeting with the other Royals and some of the head Guardians about the future changes to be made. It will be held in half an hour in the Royal Council."

"She can't go." I said, harshly. "Have you not heard about her recent loss? This is inconsiderate of all the Royal families not to take their Queen's well being into account."

"Christian," She looked at me softly and I could see the sadness in her eyes. "It's okay. I have people to rule. I can't just put it off. I have responsibilities right now."

I tried to interject but she continued, "I'll be okay." she placed a hand on my cheek and I unconsciously leaned towards it.

I trusted her to leave if things got too hard for her, so I reluctantly agreed.

The Guardian stood outside the door to give us privacy, and I put on a black shirt and jeans while Lissa wore an elegant green dress, just because she was Queen. She applied the lightest of nude make up and I couldn't help but find her stunning, even in a situation like this.

We left the room hand in hand, and the Guardians escorted us to the council. I rubbed smooth circles on the back of her hand and we locked gazes for a moment. I tried to give her a small encouraging smile but she couldn't return it. Poor Liss.

I dropped her off at the Council's gate with the rest of her guards, kissing her lightly on the lips and giving her all the words of support.

"I'll wait for you at home. Love you, Liss. Stay strong."

She did smile this time.

"Rose would be proud." I whispered, giving her another kiss and reluctantly leaving her climbing the steps elegantly, her heels clicking away till I heard them no more. I wasn't required to attend the meeting and I honestly wouldn't be able to stand one right now. I was extremely restless.

I decided to check up on Guardian Belikov. Rivalling Lissa in his love for Rose, he had to be going through a tough time. I went to the small gym room where Lissa and I would watch Rose and Dimitri spar. If I didn't find him there I'd head to his room in the Guardian Quarters.

But I did find him there, and part of me kind of wished I didn't. His tall form was lying on the gym mat, head in his hands, body shaking. I froze in my tracks. Never had I seen Guardian Belikov in his less than stoic form. He was always so tense and rigid I almost didn't believe my eyes. But I knew what love could do to someone. Hell I even experienced it with Lissa.

The door was slightly open, and I could pass through it without moving it, which I did.

His back was towards me, and I concluded that he was too lost in his grief to notice me. That didn't make me feel any better even though I just sneaked up behind a well trained guardian.

His hand tensed and he clutched the hair on his head tighter, moaning, "Roza,"

A dry sob escaped him, and he spoke again, voice thick with sorrow. "Please, Roza. I need you," he almost whispered the end.

I was torn between two choices. I could either confront him and try to comfort him. Or I could save him his pride and turn away as if I hadn't seen anything. But it was hard to ignore someone obviously suffering so much. I walked towards him, making sure to do it noisily so he could notice me. And he did, only when I was so close. He stood up abruptly, after having been caught in this private moment instead of training. "Lord Ozera." he spoke gruffly.

"Christian," I corrected. "Just Christian." I could sense the awkwardness, and apparently he could too because he just nodded.

Something else I noticed about him was his stance. Dimitri assumed the typical guardian stance but there was a slight hunch to his back, as if he could bend over and collapse at any moment. As if he couldn't carry the weight of the world on his shoulders now, as if Rose was where he drew his power from.

"I'm sorry for your loss." Is that the best I could come up with? "Rose was special to us all." as soon as I said her name his face twisted into a quick mask of pain before folding back expressionlessly.

"She was Lissa's best friend and I considered her a sister," I reached out and shook his hand. He returned the handshake confused as to why I was here.

"I was just checking up on you, if you need anything. You know we're real close to each other right?"

"Thank you for your hospitality, Lor- Christian." he corrected himself before Christian had the chance. "I do appreciate it." he obviously wasn't going to say more on the subject so I decided to save us from further mortification and just leave.

"Okay, I'll be heading out now. You don't need to go back to guarding right now. You have a few days off, Lissa will take care of it." and in truth, she had told me she wanted to give Dimitri a holiday, but she was unable to contact him and she didn't want an army of Guardians to witness their exchange.

"Where are your Guardians?" he asked, no doubt putting someone else ahead of him again. The selfless Guardians really need a reward.

" I didn't get any with me. I wanted privacy, no offence. I can defend myself anyway, it's not like I haven't done this before."

He wanted to argue, but I beat him to it. "I'll be fine. I'll call you when I reach my room." not that I was going there right now.

I patted his shoulder awkwardly. "Stay strong. We can all get through this together."

He didn't answer back.

Standing outside the gym, I deliberated on my next destination. I didn't want to go back to our house by myself. I wanted to keep myself occupied until Lissa finished her meeting, then I'd keep her occupied. I found myself walking towards the clinic. I didn't know what my purpose was, but my steps didn't falter. I needed more information on Rose. Standing in the reception I asked about Rose. She was in the Emergency Room quarters even though she was dead. Wasn't the emergency over?

I found Alberta in the room with Rose, looking at documents and charts, with the Academy's doctor behind her.

Rose looked horrible, lightly put. Her skin wasn't the tanned vibrant colour it used to be. It was grey and washed out, and her hair was limp around her face. The peacefulness of her closed eyes made my stomach churn. Alberta and Dr. O excused themselves and stood outside Rose's room to talk. I didn't give them any notice. My eyes were fixated upon the girl who was my non-biological sister, who I had bonded with through pranks and jokes and getting into trouble. She wasn't there any more, and all of us would feel her absence. I sat down in a chair next to her and began. "Rose, what have you gotten yourself into? Look what you've done to Lissa and Belikov. Come back from heaven or hell or wherever you are, too many people need you. Seriously they're losing it. I need you to, who else am I going to annoy and argue with? I hope you did find peace. I really do. You're the most one who deserves it."

She was hooked up to a heart monitor and I. V's and fluids. I didn't understand why since she was dead. The heart monitor wasn't beeping.

Or, well, two seconds ago it wasn't.

**Love youu all. KEEP ON REVIEWING. COME ON! **


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey you guys :D I hope you're proud I updated quick this time ( as quick as I can get ) even though this is just a filler :P **

**I'm really getting into this now and its coming to an end in just a few chapters, so I hope you enjoy it all till then. **

**maybe after that i'll do a series of dramatic oneshots, and you can pm telling me you're ideas and I'd dedicate the chapter to you**

**actually, lets just stick with the present right now (; **

**THANK YOU ALL. you know the drill xx**

Chapter 10

CPOV

Recap:

_She was hooked up to a heart monitor and I. V's and fluids. I didn't understand why since she was dead. The heart monitor wasn't beeping._

_Or, well, two seconds ago it wasn't._

I blinked slowly and moved closer to listen, but I heard nothing. I shook my head in confusion. Was I imagining things? Did her heart really beat or was that an error in the machine or what exactly? I peered closer at Rose. She still had the same characteristics as five minutes ago, no rise and fall in her chest.

I wouldn't let an opportunity like this pass and I wouldn't care if they thought I was crazy. I'll just blame it on the past events. "Dr. O" I called, not loud enough to disturb the neighbouring patient's though. Guardian Petrov concluded her talk with Dr. O and they both turned to me.

"Rose, her heart, the monitor, you have to check this out!" they exchanged knowing looks.

"I didn't think he'd witness it." Guardian Petrov spoke.

"Witness what?" That? At least I wasn't going crazy.

Dr. O ushered us inside Rose's room and closed the curtain.

"This has been happening for quite a while now, since her supposed death actually. Alberta discovered it first. She had been grieving over Rose as she was like her own daughter, when she put her hand over her heart and felt a pulse."

Alberta took over, "Like yourself, I didn't know whether I was feeling what I wanted to feel or if it was her actual heartbeat under my fingers. I thought Rose still had an ounce of survival within her, so I ran over here, and the Doctor has been kind enough to examine a corpse. None of the vital organs were active, nor was the heart itself beating after we hooked it up to the monitors. The next day I got a call from the clinic and Dr. O here explained to me that she had the same encounter seven hours after I had left. We spent all of yesterday around her waiting for a repeat, but nothing happened until two minutes before I decided to leave. It has been occurring randomly these past two days and we are trying to think of a theory we can use to explain it and a pattern to follow, perhaps estimating the approximate day of her awakening."

"What are your theories?" on the inside I was smiling. Hesitant, but I felt like rushing over to Lissa and interrupting her meeting to tell her the news.

Dr. O spoke this time, "Based on what Guardian Petrov told me about Lissa's fainting. I highly doubt that would have happened had her healing not worked. She obviously exerted too much energy and her body shut down. That means spirit was transferred from the Princess into Rosemarie. We're not sure of the effects, but I reckon they're positive. My personal theory is that Lissa has brought Rose back to life for the second time, just enough to tempt the organs into working again. This is also Rose's internal battle, whether she wants to wake up or not. Every while her heart beats, which means that it is functioning but at an extremely slow, almost undetectable rate. The time difference is decreasing as Lissa's magic continues flowing through Rose, but it will take a few days at the least. Sooner or later, if this pattern holds, Rose's heart beats will be strong and healthy enough that she will wake up. Remember that this is only my personal theory, and that more tests have to be run in order not to induce false hope."

I was grinning. "This is great. This is just wonderful. Lissa will be ecstatic." My heart filled with pride at the thought that she helped her friend so much. They're equal now.

Alberta stopped my internal thoughts. "No one must be informed, Lord Ozera. Especially not the Princess nor Guardian Belikov. This might permanently shatter their recovery from this ordeal if Rose does not return." I wanted to argue and say that they weren't recovering anyway, both still stuck in their blinding grief, but I thought better of it. She had a point. I didn't want to give Lissa false hope.

"But if Rose is alive, wouldn't Lissa feel better emotionally? Like, wouldn't she sense Rose in her or something, instead of feeling so empty?" I then summarized what happened in earlier, leaving out the part of Lissa's self mutilation. This was a private slip up, nothing more.

Dr. O nodded in consideration. "This might be because Rose's soul isn't fully restored yet. If she experiences periods of random calm and tranquillity, know that Rose's heart is beating in this room, and that she is one step closer to being re-united with her family and friends."

She then ushered Alberta and I outside to finish some tests, and we parted. I couldn't helped the renewed vigour I had. Everything would be back to normal soon, I just had to be patient.

I passed by Eddie, and we stopped to catch up. I could see lines of grief visible on his face and eyes.

"Christian" he greeted me with a forced smile.  
"Eddie." I replied "How have you been?"

"Not well, I don't think anyone is right now. Rose didn't deserve any of this, and the whole world is mourning the loss of a great guardian and friend."

"She was one of a kind." I laughed softly.

"Do you – " he hesitated. "Do you think she's up there, with Mason I mean. Do you think she's found peace, dying the way she's always wanted to?"

"If Rose didn't end up in heaven, I don't know who will. She had the purest heart deep down inside, and did everything for the greater good."

This time, Eddie smiled a real, small smile. "Thanks Christian."

"Hey," I remembered. "Do you know what happened to Guardian Hathaway and Rose's father?"

He nodded. "I was just with Janine. She's going through a tough time, trying to cover it up. I don't think she properly mourned her daughter anyway. But that's how Guardian's are supposed to be. I don't doubt that she loves her."

"You guys deserve so much." I murmured, in awe of the Guardians and their selflessness.

"As for Zmey, he's on a rampage. He's furious over his daughter and he hired a team of elite guardians sent out to attack Strigoi all around Russia. He's bell bent on getting revenge from each of the un-dead monsters."

Rose would be proud of him too, and what the specialised Guardians were sure to achieve.

We parted ways after catching up, and I decided to head back to my room and await Lissa.

Patience.

**yay. I love writing in Christian's pov. He's like an omniscient narrator :P **

**Next chapter will probably be Dimitri :) No promises though xx **

**R&R**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey :D I'm really sorry that I don't reply back to reviews, but I'm blessed to even find the time to read them, and know that they always brighten my day, and (were I emotional) would've brought tears to my eyes. LOVE YOU ALLLL :D KEEP THEM COMMING (: **

**Have you heard about Richelle Mead making the short story about Dimitri and Rose in Russia with his familyy ?:D Can't wait for 2012! **

**BTW, Listen to this song, I found it fitting for the chapter and i hope you trust my judgment by now ;) **

**Lucy by Skillet**

**it's soo touchingg, and envision with it DImitri's emotions if he kept Rose at bay, thinking his love for her had faded, and she died before he could come to terms with his past. **

**So sad, I know**

**nd i love it (; **

Chapter Eleven

DPOV:

_I just finished my hunt and I needed to check on Rose. Who knew what type of havoc she could be causing, even locked behind two steel doors. Even drugged and manipulated she was dangerous. She was my match made in heaven. Soon, very Soon, She will be mine eternally. I will awaken the great Rosemarie Hathaway, and we will take down Galina together and become unstoppable! _

_Frustrated on her limited co-operation these few days I was going to try this one last time. If push comes to shove, I'll kill her. But she would be a priceless ally and somehow, I found her company entertaining. At the gate of the estate, I found Mark standing guard. I stiffened. "Mark. This is Nathan's shift. Where is he?" I knew I wouldn't like the answer. _

_Mark's eyebrows scrunched up in confusion. "What are you doing here? Nathan told me he needed to discuss some things with you and asked me to take over till he's back" _

_Releasing a feral snarl, I pushed Mark aside, charging towards Rose's room. If Nathan so much as touched a hair on her head I would rip him apart. Slamming the door open, I took in the horrifying scene in front of me, feeling rage and desperation build up inside me to an unbelievable level. _

_Nathan was leaning over my unconscious Roza, hands on her body and teeth buried in her neck, trails of blood pouring down. By the bruises on her body it was obvious she put up a fight, but because of my regular drinking sessions and the fact that Nathan was Strigoi, there was no way she could survive. And this time, she didn't beat the odds. _

_Letting out an enraged roar, I pounced on Nathan and yanked him from his hair, away from my Roza. "I told you not to fucking touch her." I growled, before decapitating him swiftly with my own hands. I stood up warily, and turned to face my ex-lover. She was sprawled on the floor, hair messy, lips parted as if taking in a silent breath. I was by her side in a second, trying to close the wounds, trying to re-animate the lifeless corpse in front of me. "Rose, you wake up right now! I didn't turn you. Don't worry, I killed that bastard, he's gone now. I'll deal with Galina. Wake up." I faintly realised my hands were shaking. I picked her body up and cradled her to me. "I have to choose. You must live with it." I ripped the skin covering my wrist open and placed it over her lips. Nothing. She didn't even swallow. It just spilled in till it threatened to overflow. There was no heartbeat, no indication of life. I shook her roughly, voice turning frantic. I even resorted to begging. A deep part of me I thought I shut out when I joined this world, was mourning the situation. It caused a mass of pitiful ache in me. It made me want to curl up and die, to succumb to weakness. It made me want to hold her in my arms and never let go. _

_My vision abruptly changed. I climbed up the slope, to Rose_."_Another shadow-kissed effect?" I asked, stepping onto the bridge._

"_Yeah." I swallowed. "Turns out ghosts don't like Strigoi much."_

"_You didn't seem to like them much either."_

_She took another slow step backward. Where would she go? As soon as she turned around to run, I'd be on her._

"_So, did I go far enough for you to not want to turn me?" She asked as_

_cheerfully as she could manage._

_I smiled. "No. Your shadow-kissed abilities have their uses. . . . Too bad they'll go away when you're awakened." Of course, Thatwas still my plan. In spite of how much she'd infuriated me, I still wanted to keep her around for eternity._

"_You're not going to awaken me," she said._

"_Rose, there's no way you can—"_

"_No."_

_She climbed up onto the railing of the bridge, swinging one leg over. I knew what would happen now, and I froze._

"_What are you doing?"_

"_I told you. I'll die before I become Strigoi. I won't be like you or the others._

_I don't want that. You didn't want that, once upon a time." ._

_She swung her other leg over and peered down at the swiftly moving water. We_

_were a lot more than two stories up. She'd hit the water hard, and even_

_if she survived that fall, it was obvious she didn't have the strength to out-swim the current and get_

_to shore. As I stared down, contemplating her death, I thought back_

_to when Rose and I sat in the back seat of an SUV once, discussing this_

_very topic._

_It was the first time we'd sat near each other, and every place our bodies_

_touched had been warm and wonderful. She smelled good—and I'd been more relaxed than usual, ready to smile We'd talked about what it meant to be alive and in full control of your soul—and what it meant to become one of the_

_un-dead, to lose the love and light of life and all those you'd known._

_We'd looked at each other and agreed death was better than that fate._

_Looking at Rose now, I didn't agree._

"_Rose, don't." I was starting to panic. If I lost her over the edge, she_

_was gone. No Strigoi. No awakening. For her to be turned, I needed to_

_kill her by drinking her blood and then feeding blood back to me. If she jumped, the_

_water would kill her, not blood-letting. She would be long dead before_

_I found her in the river._

"_Please," I began. I took two careful steps forward and stopped again. "We need to be together"_

"_Why?" she asked softly. The word was carried away on the wind, but I heard._

"_Because I want you."_

"_Wrong answer," she told told me, and she let go. _

_I ran as fast as my Strigoi speed could take me. I reached out to grab her, but my hand caught thin air._

"_Roza!" I yelled, before jumping after her. The water was freezing and the currents at their climax. I could make out shapes in the water, none of them hers. She was too weak! She wouldn't be able to fight it! _

_Was being like me that much of a horrible prospect? Did she not understand what she was giving up? An eternity of power. She is stupid and childish! Yet, I couldn't bring myself to turn around and leave the water without her. I needed to save her, I needed to claim her. I caught sight of a brown mass on top of the water, through my peripheral vision, and I lunged after it. Roza. She surrendered herself to the sea, no fighting or thrashing whatsoever. I grabbed her from around her waist and dragged her out of the water, dropping her onto the sand, and in turn, me after her. I pumped her chest vigorously, all the while talking to her. Telling her how stupid she was, telling her how much I needed her, how much she was important to me. I tried enticing her with my plans for Galina, for how we would take her down. No response. Her lack of breathing pattern didn't change, and she didn't respond. Not even when I expelled all the water in her lungs, or breathing air through her lips. _

"_You ruined it all!" I yelled, shaking her. _

"_You don't understand that I need you." Suddenly, something I didn't think possible, having never experienced it in my renewed state happened. I began to cry. _

_The rest of the dreams were equally, if not more horrifying. I dreamt of Rose being shot, Rose being raped, Rose committing suicide, Rose in a coma, Rose being cut open. Rose being diagnosed with cancer. One after the other, picture after picture slamming into me, all of them ending in the same way. _

_Rose is dead. _

"No!" I launched myself up, clutching the blankets with my white knuckles for dear life. I reached out to the other side of my bed seeking comfort and reassurance from Rose, but the bed was empty.

I hung my head in my hands, breathing shallow and unsteady, when I remembered the events. How could I forget?

"Roza," I whispered, desolate. She still didn't comprehend how much I needed her, how lost I was without her. I knew our relationship would have it's ups and downs in the future, and we would suffer from the child issue, but I accepted that! I still had a relationship with her!

I pulled at the roots of my hair roughly, my eyes beginning to water. I was very unstable, and I needed comfort. 'Comrade.' never in all my life had I yearned to hear that word as much as I did now. My chest ached deep, and it pulsed hollow, with the lack of life left in it. I realised I was shaking, but I couldn't do much about it, nor did I want to. I faintly realized the pillow stuck under my side, one I wasn't resting my head on. I must half clutched it subconsciously, in an effort to feel another body next to me, to replace Roza's absence. Rose could never be replaced. No one could achieve her level of mentality, her understanding of the duties and her complete faith in her friends. Her faith in me. And I failed her. I promised to always protect her.

Bitterly, I thought, 'You failed me too, Roza. You broke your promise. Is this your way of punishing me?' I realised that sitting on the bed so unstable did me no good, so I decided to take a shower.

Rising limply from the bed, and shuffling across the floor, I undressed myself and turned to the mirror.

Staring back at me wasn't human. Nor was it a Dhampir. It was just a zombie, one of the living-dead. The back of my mind – the logical one – the one I now hated, scolded me. It reminded me how disappointed Rose would be if she could see my state right now. My eyes cold and empty, almost black, and my shoulders hunched in defeat.

"I'm trying, Roza." I whispered faintly, "I really am. Don't be disappointed in me, I love you."

I took a cold shower, and dressed for the gym, to let out some steam and emotions.

The gym was empty, and I was greatly thankful, in no mood to converse with any myself.

I started out with a few, light hearted punches and kicks to the dummies. Soon, it wasn't enough, as memories of Roza and I training bombarded me. Of me pinning her to the wall, and the rare but impressive times when she caught me off guard. The excitement on her face when she first held a stake. The fierce determination and fire in her eyes when someone mentioned Lissa in a less than perfect condition. Her humour lightening me up, and I never did let her know how much I appreciated her jokes, behind my cold, collected façade.

"It was too early, Rose. It wasn't your time. Your time is with me, Please let it be with me." The memories were too much and I collapsed to the floor, head in my hands, back to the gym.

Desolate, the only word I could use to describe my state.

Shaking, I clutched my roots tighter, a pained moan escaping me. "Roza,"

I let out a dry sob, the pain too much to handle. "Please, Roza. I need you," I almost whispered the end.

Lord Ozera interrupted my internal grieving, but it hurt more when the encounter was over, knowing everyone else was mourning her death, but feeling like I was the only one who didn't know how to deal with it. Then I decided that I didn't want to forget it, that the pain of her death reminded me that someone as unique and beautiful as her existed, and that I had the pleasure of loving her. That knowledge gave me the strength to go back to my room, and try to get some real sleep.

**I won't replay the Christian seen, because I trust you all know how it ended, nd I'm sorry for uploading late, and for the fact that I will continue to do so till July because of my external exams :D **

**keep reviewing to keep me going ;) ;) **

**Also, sorry for any errors, I wass wayyyyy to sleepy for this xx**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey guys :D please don't kill me (A) at least i uploaded. I wasn't supposed to but I did it cause i'm a rebel and i wanted to make you guys happy**

**once again i thank everyone for their unconditional support and i love you guys :D Keep it upp **

**Disclaimer: don't own anything except the plot. **

**Hope you guys enjoy! hope i dont always take this long to update **

**tell me what you think at the end! :***

* * *

Chapter 12

Lord Ozera (Christian)'s POV:

I tapped my foot impatiently, sitting next to Rose, talking to her. More like her body, since I wasn't getting any response. Day two after Lissa found out about Rose's departure from this world was a bit worse than Day 1 when she freaked out and tried to harm herself. I picked her up from the meeting and took her home straight away, no detours. I even prepared a nice dinner and set up the table. I could tell her heart wasn't in it though, how could it be?

When I asked her of the day's events, she told me they were as pompous as ever, but that they were going to arrange a large funeral ceremony to honour their protectors, their guardians.

She seemed so sad, I ached to tell her the new information about Rose. I couldn't take that risk though, if Rose didn't make it. That few days of hope wouldn't be worth the more tragic events we'd have to repeat if she died again. Neither could I tell Dimitri, for similar reasons. My heart went out to him because unlike Lissa, he lost the one thing he had left with him – excluding his family in Russia. Lissa on the other hand, had Adrian, Eddie, All her friends. She was even close with Ibrahim and Janine, people who she considered to be her second parents, after Rose declared Abe safe to be around. Dimitri though, he was always unsociable and stoic around others, and the only person who could even slightly loosen him up, was Rose. He wouldn't accept any kind of care from anyone else, wouldn't even show that he needed it. My aunt would have been able to cheer him up once, but her happy days were long gone. I sighed internally.

Lissa complained of a headache twice today, when I caught her clutching her head and wincing.

Worried, I offered to escort her to the nurse, even though 12 other guards would be there. She vehemently denied, saying some Panadol should do the trick. Oh, how I wished. At night, I was sitting on our bed, waiting for Lissa to come out of the bathroom in her nightgown. I had a feeling she would break down again, and I prepared myself for it. True that. She opened the door to our enormous Jacuzzi containing bathroom and briefly met my eyes, before looking down to meet the floor. I detected a faint trembling in her frame, and I held out my arms in an invitation she accepted.

She shuffled slowly and climbed onto the bed and into my arms. My back was towards the headboard and she sat tilted towards me, head curled into my chest, my arm tight around her. The love of my existence. Lissa. She was still trembling so I hushed her softly.

She spoke, "You know, when I woke up today I was still in denial. I thought everything that happened the day before was another dream. Then I went with you to the meeting, and Rose didn't show up. She didn't crash it, didn't cause havoc, didn't spread her opinions everything. I felt more lost than I ever had in my life. She was my anchor, Christian. The one who kept me sane. She was more than just a Guardian. She was my best friend, my sister, my mother, my diary. I know that I have to keep living, because then she would have died for nothing, but that doesn't change the fact that it kills me everything I think or hear her name. But it also made me realise even more how life is precious, and having you in my arms. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you too, the second half of my heart. Please don't ever leave me, Christian. I'm too selfish to let go of you, and I know I'm going to cause you suffering because of what's happening, but I love you too much." Tears were cascading down her face, and I tilted her head up, giving her a deep kiss.

Only one word would suffice right now. "I love you, Liss. I'm never going to leave you. Always remember that." She completely broke down in my arms then, crying Rose's name out every once in a while, holding on to me for dear life. I knew she wouldn't stop anytime soon, so I shifted us slightly so we were lying under the covers. I pulled her even closer, shielding her from the world, but in a position that would make her sleep comfortably when she tired out.

Right now, I continued tapping my foot impatiently, still in a one sided conversation.

"Rose, didn't you promise me you wouldn't go anywhere? Yeah, I know your body is still here and stuff but what are we going to do with this empty thing? I need your attitude to compliment mine, and to give Belikov some life, and to save my girlfriend. So like, any day now would be great."

Her heart rate increased the difference between one heart beat and the other shortening considerably. Now it was about 10 minutes apart. The doctor did Rose a check-up every few hours, and I still hadn't moved from here since nine am. When I woke up, I found Lissa playing with the edge of my shirt, nothing intimate, just calm and wondering. I had cleared any tear tracks off her face the night before, not sleeping till I was sure she was unconscious. Again, she had a royal meeting to discuss the funeral, so I hung around here with Rose, giving myself a peace of mind. I was here partly because Rose was my sister and being around her provided comfort, and partly to find out how long Lissa would have to be in oblivion.

I nudged Rose with my finger slightly. "Yo, Rose. Get up, teach me some fighting moves. I'll give you a lighter. That way I can kick ass and you can light some Strigoi heads. Sound great?" not waiting for a response, "Yeah, I thought so."

The doctor estimated about 2 more days for her heart beat to regulate, her body to come back to the natural warm temperature, and her nerves and blood flow to be normal. I was excited myself, eager to have her back to life. It killed me not to be able to make Lissa feel better, but this was ultimately for her own good. If anything, _anything, _happened at all to Rose I wouldn't forgive myself for what Liss would go through again. If she didn't make it, then Lissa wouldn't ever know.

That's how I spent my day, by Rose's side, making sarcastic comments and trying to taunt her back to life. Each time her heart beat, I would hold my breath in hopes that it would create a stable rhythm. None till now. I read her articles from magazines, updated her on the happenings of the world, made her listen to songs I knew she liked, anything she might be familiar with. I mentioned Guardian Belikov and how she shouldn't just leave him hanging, and that she should come back so that we could all be one big happy family and double date. Not that I would ever say that in real life.

After picking Lissa up from her meeting, her 12 and my 2 guardians took their perfected stances by our residence, while Lissa and I entered. I noticed her headache still resided, and we tried a larger dose of Painkillers. She didn't cry that night. Didn't talk much either. I don't think she was really with me that night, and when I told her goodnight after we snuggled in bed, she didn't answer me.

I woke up to light giggling from my left. Groggily, I sat up and squinted, trying to make out shapes. There was a lamp lit on the desk, and Lissa was hunched over it, still giggling.

"Liss." I called out. I glanced at the alarm clock on my bedside which read 3:42 a.m., then turned back to her. "What are you doing up in the middle of the night?

She turned to me, eyes bright and active and ushered me over with her hands. Her expression was excited but she didn't utter a sound. I climbed out of bed and approached her. The desk was scattered with Crayolas and an A3 Sketch Pad.

"What are you doing?" I inquired. There were different pictures drawn, but I didn't understand any. Frankly, I was getting worried. She had a glazed, frantic look about her, almost as if she was on something.

"Look, Christian. Look what I drew!" She sang excitedly. I blinked in confusion, but watched anyway.

There were two stick figures sitting on separate desks, one with a yellow pony tail and the other with brown loose hair. I guessed they were Lissa and Rose. There was a rectangle with signalled a blackboard and a larger stick figure with a book next to its face.

She looked at me with wide eyes, waiting for my opinion. "It's wonderful, baby. What is this?" Frankly, it looked like an eight year Old's drawing.

"This book is a timeline of Rose and I. This picture here is me and Rose when we first met. Did you hear that story? The teacher made us write our full names and Rose threw a book at her and called her a fascist bastard! She got in trouble but it was funny." She flipped the Sketch Pad to another page, a different drawing on it. "This is Rose, Eddie, Mason and I in first grade, when we all became best friends. Mason picked on us and Rose punched him. They've been best friends ever since, even though I knew Mason loved her." The third picture was of Rose with Lissa's family in a resort. That's how the night continued, Lissa showing me different creations of hers, until she finally reached one that hadn't yet happened. Rose's tombstone. It was coloured a dark grey and it took some shading effort I could see. This picture was the most vibrant one, more like a professional artist and less like a kid.

She turned to me, smiling with all her teeth, which didn't reassure me at all.

"This story is the last in my book. You know what this is? It's a tombstone. And do you know what it symbolises? Death. Rose's death. It was a funny one. Let me tell you the story.

First, there was little old me, walking through the woods till I found my ex friend Jesse with scary red eyes, and he was going to hurt me, but Rosie saved me. You want to know how?" her voice had a hint of desperation. "She pushed me out of the way and took my place. He held her from her throat and squeezed."

She mimicked the movement. "Like this."

She pressed her hands to her throat, and squeezed. And squeezed.

She didn't stop squeezing. I tried ripping her hand of her throat but it wouldn't budge. What was she trying to do? Kill herself? "Lissa! Let go!" I yelled, struggling. Her face was turning purple, but I manged to understand what she said

She was just trying to show me how it was done. And that since Rose was gone it was only fair Lissa left the same. They were best friends after all.

My heart sank when I realised there was something truly wrong, just as the door slammed open.

**Sorry, dont kill me xD I had to stop here. for one, cliffhanger (; **

**don't u guys just love christian being nice to Rose. I lovee their relationship but would never stick them romanticlaly together! **

**thanks for the reviews though! Each and every one of you! **

**LOVE YOU ALL, TELL ME UR OPINIONS WHEN DONE :D **


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey guys. Kill me if it'll make you happier. Do it, I know I deserve it :P I doubt my apologies make a difference now but I'll try anyway. I'm sorry for making you wait so long, I'm currently out of the country for my summer holiday and I'm really busy trying to fit this in the schedule. I want you to know I haven't forgotten about you guys and thank you for everything you've done, n inspiring me :D you're all amazing people. **

**Disclaimer: none of this belongs to me. All credit and characters except named Guardians excluding Guardian Petrov belong to Richelle Mead, and said named Guardians are only figments of my imagination. **

**I'm really sorry if this sucks but I don't write stories over a long time, I only do it the night I upload so excuse any error :D**

**Thank you for your support! Keep it upp! Love you all :D **

Chapter 13

Lord Ozera's POV

_My heart sank when I realised that there was something truly wrong, just as the door slammed open. _

Lissa's sanctioned guardians flooded the room, taking immediate action effectively. One of them, Guardian Downey, applied force to Lissa's pressure point. She cried out, simultaneously releasing her hold on her own throat.

The second guardian, Guardian Youssef, hit Lissa at the back of her head, rendering her unconscious. And the third Guardian, Guardian Alexander picked her up swiftly over his shoulder, and left the room.

All of that happened in a time interval of no more than 10 seconds, and I didn't panic one bit when they almost broke the door down. My only concern was about Lissa's mental health. What was that all about? Did Spirit finally send her over the edge? Could I not help her get over Rose's death? Would Rose ever wake up?

They took her to the infirmary for a check-up, and there they decided to hook her up to some medicine to lower her blood pressure. Of course all of this was confidential, since she was the Queen. Surprisingly, they all understood what she was going through and no one questioned their own Queen's sanity. I would have barbecued them if I knew.

I got irritated by how the guardians treated her, but I was also awed at their speed and reaction time.

I noted that the hospital she was admitted at is where Rose is 'healing' and I decided that I couldn't wait any longer before visiting. I needed to know if she could save my girlfriend soon. I stayed with Lissa for a little more than a hour, holding her hand and speaking softly to her. I didn't think any less of her because of what happened, but I knew she needed help. Someone suddenly opened the door to Lissa's room, and I jumped in front of her protectively. I had enough of people handling her. Surprisingly, it was Guardian Petrov, and she looked excited.

"Lord Ozera," she whispered – to not disturb Lissa who was now sleeping peacefully – and motioned for me to come over.

"Rose," she mouthed, and I could feel my heart pounding. Could it be? Did she finally wake up?

I gave Liss a quick kiss on her forehead and a murmured 'I love you' before closing the door softly behind me.

"What is it?" I asked impatiently. I needed to know if it was all over, if Liss could finally have some peace in her life.

"She's awake." That was all I needed to hear before I raced towards Rose's room in a separate wing of the hospital.

I entered the room without knocking, and my breath caught in my throat.

There she was, Rose Hathaway, sitting in her hospital gown on the bed poking a plastic cup filled with Jelly. She was still hooked up to a heart monitor and several fluids, but I could tell she wasn't a zombie. "Rose!" I cried, and gathered her in a hug, suffocating her.

"Ugh, Pyro." She complained. "No need to kill me again. I won't miss the feeling anytime soon."

I was so happy I wouldn't dare complain. "Rose, thank god you're back! Don't ever do that again!"

She chuckled and smoothed my hair. "Don't worry Pyro; I'm here for a while. Can you go outside and ask the nurse when I'll be released? I'm dead bored over here."

I glanced towards the heart monitor to find it beating steadily, not faltering at all. Maybe she really was here to stay.

"Take me to Lissa." She suddenly said. "I need to see how she is."

My smile faltered when I thought of the state we left her in. "She needs you too, Rose. Badly."

We planned how to introduce Rose gradually, and I had to check up on Lissa while Rose's doctor passed by her to give her the OK to return home.

I opened Lissa's room softly, only to find her awake and grinning. Not the freaky ones with her glazed eyes but a real, genuine smile. Her forest green eyes sparkled softly, and her mouth was turned up as much as possible. She actually jumped out of bed and pounced on me.

"Christian, I can't explain it. I feel so much better. I feel so happy it's unbelievable. My heart doesn't hurt anymore. I'm not going crazy, I swear!"

My heart warmed at her statement. That meant she could feel Rose's bond again subconsciously.

I escorted Liss back to her room, where Rose would be strategically hidden in her wardrobe.

"I'm so sorry," Liss started after I closed the door to her room and took off my coat.

"I didn't mean to cause you all that trouble. I promise I'm not crazy. It was just a lapse because of spirit, please don't leave me." I silenced her with a kiss.

"None of this is your fault. Everything is going to be okay, trust me."

"I do," she hugged me tightly, so much.

Rose cleared her throat behind us and Lissa froze in my arms, recognizing her best friend's voice.

In the blink of an eye, they were both sobbing in each others arms, Rose's hand protectively around Lissa. All I could understand were the 'I'm sorry 'and 'it's okay.' Being repeated every couple of seconds. I watched from afar, smiling smugly.

Life really would get better. After 2 hours of catching up, I felt like Rose was itching to ask about a specific person, so I told her she'd better see him for herself.

I called him on his cell phone and told him I needed him urgently. Less than two minutes later Dimitri Belikov knocked on the door, and I let Rose answer him herself.

**Hey guys, were u surprised? I hope so :D **

**Sorry if I sucked you can beat me up I know I deserve it ! **

**I'll try harder next time I swear :P **

**Love you all **

**R&R x **


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey you guys :D I think I did pretty well this time – with the fast update, I mean :P **

**I'm sure there will be mixed reactions about this chapter, partly because I gave you only the first part of Rose and Dimitri's reunion, but not the more intimate part I know some of you are craving :P but I decided to just give this light appetizer till I get the next one out, and let me tell you : I actually spent more than a day on this :D the next chapter (might be last, not sure) will take some time because I need it to be perfect, not like some of the bullshit I wrote :p thank you all for your patience :D but make me proud and review so I know your exact opinions and how to approach the next chapter. I didn't get many reviews for the last one so I really don't know :/**

**ENJOY! **

Chapter 14

Guardian Belikov's POV.

I sat there, on my bed, staring at the wall for God knows how long, looking but not really seeing everything. The broken part of me preferred to be blind if I couldn't gaze upon Rose's beauty, deaf if I couldn't hear her rich, sarcastic yet determined tone, mute if I couldn't tell her how much I loved her, and paralysed if I couldn't express my unwavering devotion to her. The logical part of me that stopped me from taking my own life that dreadful life reminded me that I needed all these skills if I were to continue guarding my former charge's boyfriend. It also urged me to consume any type of energy source, but I just didn't have the stomach to enjoy food right now. If the vibrating phone hadn't shaken me out of my trance, God knows how long I would've stayed there.

"Guardian Belikov," I didn't look at the caller ID.

"Hey. It's me, Christian." I stood up immediately.

"At your service, Lord Ozera." I heard him huff in annoyance as I continued. "Do you request me at your suite, or shall I find you and the Queen's quarters?"

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear the whole 'Lord' part." For some reason, I detected a hint of lightness in his tone, and I felt dejected at the fact that I wouldn't feel it anytime soon. Maybe that's where I went wrong. I'm a guardian, and I'm not supposed to show emotions that could stand in the way of my charge. But God help me I couldn't stand against her. All my walls crumbled when Rose showed up, she completely unwound me, only to leave me suffering without her. But I knew that if I could, I wouldn't change the past. I would never want to erase her from my memories no matter how much pain I went through now, because she was and always will be worth it all.

"And now that you mention it," he continued. "I do need you at Lissa's place. Be there ASAP, but don't worry, there's no Strigoi attack."

I said goodbye and shut my phone, immediately getting dressed. I shut my eyes in pain when I put on my duster, remembering the way Rose used to make fun of it and my love for the western life.

I took a deep breath, and locked the door behind me, hiding the stake effectively between my clothes. A few minutes later I was at my charge's suite, but I stopped for a moment, listening carefully.

I heard a few giggles and hushed voices, which indicated that there was more than one girl inside with the Lord, but I would know more once I was actually inside.

I knocked and waited for him to open and tell me why I was requested.

I froze when the door opened, my limbs refusing to take another step forward, my eyes refusing to believe the heavenly image in front of it, my mouth refusing to utter a single word lest I break the spell, and in that moment I thought of two explanations.

Sometime during the day, a Strigoi attacked me and killed me so now I was in heaven for my loyalty to the Moroi.

Sometime during the day, a Strigoi attacked me and killed me but someone brought me back, so now I can see ghosts.

I couldn't think of anything other logical explanation, but I would gladly take this if it meant Rose could be with me. I decided to go with the second explanation, and I felt my eyes widen as I took in her form. It took all of my inner strength, but I finally willed myself to take a breath, and utter the word that both completed me and destroyed me.

"Roza" I choked out.

She smiled the very smile that brought me to my knees begging for mercy, and she had her hands on her hips. "Told you we'd be together forever. I guess even death couldn't tear us apart, huh?" her attempt at lightening the situation clearly failed, and her smile dropped when she realised that.

I wasn't sure if that was how ghosts were supposed to look, since I've never seen one till this very day, but I doubt that you were supposed to look so vibrant, alive, and animated.

My eyes briefly flickered to Lord Ozera who shot me a smirk of success, and then to my Queen, who looked positively elated.

Were they also ghosts? Have I failed everyone around me? I thought maybe I was still sleeping or I was on some kind of hallucination-inducing drug, but whatever it was, I never wanted it to end.

"It's really me," she said softly, taking a step towards me. I held my ground before I mustered enough courage to approach her. The Queen and her lover weren't in the room anymore; therefore, it was just I and what I thought was Rose's ghost. I didn't think to voice my thoughts though. Once I was directly in front of her, I reached out an arm to touch her face. She instinctively leaned into my hand and I was momentarily stunned by the electricity that flowed between us at the point of contact. Then it slowly spread out across my whole body, urging me to mould myself to her and never let go. I lost her once. I would never let her out of my sight again. I wouldn't survive it if past events repeated themselves. I could feel tears prick the side of my eyes, but I held them in. I would have plenty of time for my daily mourning once I got back to my room. I just needed to know she was real, because my limited ghost-knowledge enabled me to only guess that they should be untouchable. Maybe it was neither of the above conclusions. Maybe she was some random Dhampir with a charmed ring or something to make her look like Rose. I doubted Lissa would ever replace her bond mate, but my mind was overrun with possibilities.

"I need to know," I whispered, cradling her face in my hand, trying to fight the thickening attraction. There was only one way to find out.

"Kiss me," she breathed, right before I crushed my lips to hers.

Immediately, my mind drifted into overdrive, and my body was in frenzy. It's her. It's really Rose! She immediately wrapped her arms around my neck and tangled her fingers in my hair, pushing me tighter against her. Oh my God, thank you. Thank you Almighty. Now that I have her back, I would never let her go. This felt too good to be a dream, yet the emotions were other worldly. I faintly noticed my tall frame trembling as I pushed her against the door and she wrapped her legs around my waist. I, as well as her, was shaking uncontrollably, holding her so tightly a part of me was scared I was actually hurting her. Tasting the salt from both our tears told me that she was crying too, and during this whole exploration of her mouth, I hadn't taken a single breath. Basic necessities forced us to break apart, but I kept our foreheads touching, our breaths mingling.

"How?" I was scared to ask. I wiped her tears with my thumb and cradled her face in my hand.

"You were dead." My voice broke, and I kissed her again. My lips touched every part of her face, her forehead, her lips, her nose, her jaw, both her cheeks, the top of her head. Anywhere that would reassure me. My tears didn't stop falling and my whole body was shaking. Could it really be happening?

After untangling her legs from my waist, we took a seat on the plush leather couch in Lord Ozera's living room, but she remained on my lap. I had a feeling we would be physically entwined for a long time. She softly stroked my cheek, kissed a stray teardrop away, and entwined our fingers while rubbing soothing circles across the back of my hand.

She proceeded to tell me that the Queen's healings worked (my mind recalled the time when she fainted at the forest, then agreed) but that the dead were unwilling to give her up and she had to fight her own internal battle against her body and soul to wake up.

I adjusted her so that she was straddling me and I buried my face in her neck, inhaling the sweet aroma I thought I'd never smell again. My hands coiled tighter around her body, as I started telling her how glad I was.

"Roza," my voice was muffled due to her hair. "I missed you so much, Roza. So much it was unbearable. I wanted to die. You have no idea what it felt like seeing you lying on the floor. And when you didn't listen to me, my God. My brain refused to comprehend what happened. I am so, so glad that you came back to me like you promised and I am so glad that I didn't take my own life. You are my life, my Roza, and I have no idea how I would've continued living without you. I love you so much мой ангел. Спасибо богу.

She gave me a smile so full of love I caught my breath, and lowered her face to mine, as she spoke clearly.

"I'm so sorry for making you worry, Comrade, but I thought you had more faith in me than this. That would've been too easy a death for me. When I go, I'm going in style." Typical of my love to say getting choked to death was a simple way to die. "Besides, you're not getting rid of me that easily."

I held her closer, whispering in her ear. "я никогда не хотел бы избавиться от вас. я не могу жить без тебя."

Just then, Queen Vasilisa and Lord Ozera, broke our intimate moment, Lissa hurrying to Rose's side. I saw Rose and my charge exchange rueful smiles, but I would ask her about that later. I just wanted her by my side, in my room, for the remainder of forever.

**Heyy :P hahah hope no one is going to kill me :D hope you guys enjoyed **

**N don't forget to PLEASE tell me your opinions so I can try to fix anymistakes **

**Love youuuu all**

**Sorry I don't reply I really don't have time :( but know that I appreciate each and every single review!**

**BTWW TRANSLATIONS :мой ангел - my angel**

**Спасибо богу - Thank God**

**я никогда не хотел бы избавиться от вас. я не могу жить без тебя - I'd never want to get rid of you. I can't live without you. **


	15. Chapter 15

**Hey fellow fan fictioners :$ okay you can kill me now, because if I were you I would kill me too (A) **

**I think you're done hearing apologies from me, it's just been too long and maybe you guys even forgot about this story (even though I assure you I did not)**

**I've been busy travelling during summer and coming back from my home country.**

**I really honestly have no idea how to begin with this last chapter. Maybe it's cz it's the final I'm trying to make it perfect, or maybe it's cz I have no ideas other than a lemon is going to be contained in it. I'm trying though (the proof is below this AN) believe me. **

**I refuse to stall you any longer, I hope you enjoy. **

**BTW. M RATED! THE LEMON STARTS ALMOST IMMEDIATELY. Please refrain from reading if you are underage…do what's best for you.**

RPOV

I giggled lightly when Dimitri pulled me closer in the hallway, wrapping my arms around his waist.

His arm was on my shoulder, rubbing my back soothingly, even though it shouldn't be about me right now.

The love of his life died and came back to life, and he was trying to act like I was the one going through it all. Typical Dimitri. I was planning to show him just how much I missed him at home. I would make up for all the lost time between us.

He kissed the top of my forehead, lingering there for an extra second, before he unlocked the door and led us both in.

Once inside I took control and pinned him playfully against the door, both hands on either side of his head while his hands rested on my hips, a peaceful smile on his face.

Our bodies were aligned directly, each part of me stuck to the corresponding part of him. I brought my face directly to side of his head, and blew in his ear, making him shiver, then nibbled on his earlobe.

He groaned slightly, his hold tightening on me. "God Roza, you're so beautiful. He said, even though his eyes were shut from pleasure.

My lips attached to his neck and shoulder, while one hand caressed his back and the other his front, squeezing in between the buttons of his shirt and feeling his abs.

He let out a breathy moan, and tried to caress me, but I pushed his hand away, murmuring, "Tonight is all about you baby, only you. This is my way of saying sorry for everything I've put you through."

Slowly my hand travelled down his body till I reached the button of his jeans, where a very impressive package was waiting for me. I touched him through the pants and he automatically jerked into me. I went down on my knees, my intentions clear, and Dimitri immediately opened his mouth to protest. "Roza, you don't have to do this."

I shushed him quietly, placing both my hands on his pants and pulling them down to dispose of them, his hard on more visible through the boxers. I wouldn't have those either, and soon his bottom half was naked in front of me. I just hope I did it right.

I placed one hand on his base, and some liquid leaked. His hands wound themselves in my hair, gently pulling me closer. It twitched in my hand and I grew more excited and confident. I wrapped my mouth around it and sucked gently, running my hand around its length. I let him set the pace as his hands moved in my hair, directing me with his desired pace. Soon though, he let me take over and he was about to lose control in no time, the moans and groans increasing significantly. I haven't noticed them before (too engrossed by something very interesting) but his sacs were large and inviting, but as soon as I cupped one he exploded, weakly trying to move out of my mouth, even though I didn't let him. I wanted all of him.

When I had milked all of him he pulled me up and crashed our lips against each other, devouring my own and not minding if he tasted his essence on me. He turned us around roughly so that I was the one against the wall now. When I tried to protest and remind him of my earlier statement, he said he couldn't wait any longer. I felt the wetness pool in my panties when he attacked my neck and chest. After trailing my whole upper body sensuously and making me a quivering mass of need, he got down on his knees and pulled down my shorts. I sucked in an excited gasp and tangled my fingers in his smooth, soft hair. He blew softly on my core, and all my muscles tensed in anticipation.

Abruptly, he put both my legs on his shoulder leaving me leaning on the wall for support, and dug his face into me, not giving me a moment to absorb the pleasure. My legs locked around his head, and my hands tugged on his hair, animalistic cries emanating from deep within me.

"Dimitri, oh God. Don't stop, please!" I grunted, bucking my hips against him and arching my back. Amazingly, we maintained balanced and I did not fall off his lean shoulders. He was ruthless, mouth and fingers, not leaving any part of me untouched, driving me to extreme highs that made me dizzy with pleasure. One hand was around my ass caressing it, while the other was buried inside me.

I felt like I was seeing stars when I finally let loose. Dimitri didn't remove himself from my dripping core till he was sure he cleaned up everything down there with his tongue. Knees too weak to support me, he picked me up bridal style, and laid me down on the bed open to him. Without giving me recovery time, he drove into me ruthlessly, pumping my body, and caressing the parts his hands could not reach.

Over and over again we made love that night, in different positions, at different paces, and with different meanings behind each time. I'm pretty sure that the next day we would have no control over our jelly-like limbs and literally lie there in bed all day.

After we finally exhausted ourselves, I cuddled up into my soul-mate, as he softly kissed the top of my head, pulling me even closer.

"Love you, Roza. Forever." He whispered to me, lacing our hands together.

"Forever and always, Comrade. That's a promise." I kissed his chest, and snuggled even closer.

I hope God will give us some peace of mind now, after everything we've been through. I couldn't wait to spend another day with him again. The rest of my life.

**Hey you guys :D **

**So yep, that's it. Told you it was going to be a short, angst-filled story (: **

**Hope the ending was appropriate enough for you. Tbh, I didn't know how else to end it S: **

**I probably won't be posting anymore stories, just one-shots, and if you have any ideas for those pm me and I'll look into them! **

**Love youuu all and thanks for your support this whole time! :D You're all beautiful people! ;) **

**Take care xxx**


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